Taste test: We're still buzzing (shaking and awake) from Hard Rock's three new energy drinks

My teeth tingle. My pinky finger is twitchy. I can't stop tapping my right foot. This is the aftermath of a GuideLive energy drink taste test.

Beginning today, Sept. 1, Hard Rock Energy Drinks launched its "recently reformulated" energy drinks in Austin, Dallas, Fort Worth and San Antonio, according to a release. The drinks were originally released in December 2013.

The three new drinks promise "a quick energy boost without the post-crash often associated with other energy drinks." We can't confirm or deny that; ask us in two hours.

The drinks -- which come in Citrus, Paradise Punch and Sugar Free flavors -- promise "natural energy," which means they're made with an ingredient called "natural caffeine." The Citrus and Paradise Punch are made with real cane sugar and contain 160 calories and 80 mg of caffeine in one 16-ounce can. The Sugar Free variety has 10 calories and 80 mg of caffeine in its 16-ounce can.

How does 80 mg of caffeine stack up? That's 19 mg more caffeine than in a Diet Coke of the same size. But it's way less than the caffeine in a Starbucks Iced Coffee, which contains more than double, 165 mg, in a 16-ounce cup.

How do the energy drinks taste?

• Citrus: Call it a Sprite-Mountain Dew hybrid with a squirt of Squirt. The clear, bubbly Citrus drink counts sugar as its second-most-used ingredient behind carbonated water. It's easy to drink, if you're into lemon-lime flavored drinks.
• Sugar Free: This drink has a chemical aftertaste -- nailpolish remover, maybe? -- though none of its ingredients are toxic. Skip this drink; it tastes similar to Sugar Free Red Bull, which we all agreed isn't great to begin with. Besides the fact that Hard Rock Natural Energy is low in calories and and high in caffeine, there are better ways to get a boost.
• Paradise Punch: Our tasting team was divided on this carbonated upper. It's pink! It's fabulous! WE FEEL LIKE SUPERHEROES FROM ALL THIS CAFFEINE! Others in the group found it to be too much like liquid Pixy Stix ... unless you like Pixy Stix (and red Starburst and cherry Airheads): Then, it's the bomb. It would probably make for a fantastic cocktail, if your heart can handle it. (Protip: It can't.)

But why is Hard Rock doing energy drinks?

We were wondering that, too. It's an expanded reach of the Hard Rock brand, which includes Hard Rock Cafes, hotels, casinos, and merch like T-shirts and hats, among other items. The owners "felt that the demographics of energy drinks would broaden the appeal to Hard Rock" because they attract a younger audience, says a spokeswoman.

Find the drinks at 7-Eleven, Kum & Go, HyVee, Sunoco and Albertson's.

Props to my caffeinated colleagues, David Estrada, Britton Peele, Alyssa Powell, Amanda Wilkins and Hannah Wise, for tasting.