Our friend Big Tex is all hat and no cattle. Literally: This cowboy doesn't have a herd to go home to. But cut him some slack; there's a lot going on in that big guy. He speaks! He moves! And he's worth a pretty penny.

Check out the inner workings of his body, his head and his clothes.

Fake Big Tex talks on The Ticket

Big Tex says the darndest things.

He chatted with the Musers on SportsRadio 1310 The Ticket. Fake Big Tex has a belly-button ring and was in a long-term relationship with the Statue of Liberty.

He stands there, with his "big, stupid hat on" and says "howdy, folks!" to the passersby. But when he's not at work, here's what Big Tex might really say about his job:

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