Previously: Brandi and Stephanie haven't talked "in four months." D'Andra's mother helicopter mothers her. Kameron and her pink dog food ... LeeAnne stares at her therapist.
LeeAnne's still winning the tagline game.
"The only thing he's bad at is being alone."
Cary Deuber laments that Dr. Mark wants everything to be perfect. He's a little upset that the maid isn't matching his socks right to left. They match; it's just that it's bugging him that he has two "Rs" on his feet.
Cary snuggles with her daughter Zuri, 3. Sweet.
"You want your kid to be trilingual if you can."
Kameron Westcott asks baby boy Cruz what was his favorite thing in school. He said when he went potty. I hear that. He should talk to Brandi.
Their spanish teacher, Romy, who is "sought after," arrives and they all go to learn.
Kameron says she can't roll her Rs. What's with the Rs today?
"I'm paying her to listen so I don't feel like I'm annoying her."
Stephanie visits with her life coach, Laurie. Stephanie looks tired tonight. Oh, honey.
Stephanie and Travis are looking at houses in Dallas because she says she's there all the time. It takes her two hours to get her children to school and it's getting to be a bit much. She lives in Las Colinas, y'all. I mean, that construction will be done at some point.
I hope she realizes closer in means that she'll also be closer to her neighbors.
Stephanie says that they've lived in three different houses and this will be the first one she's helped choose. Laurie nods.
All it takes to get Stephanie's tears rolling is to mention Brandi's name.
"I felt very rejected," said Stephanie. "The one person who was supposed to love me like a sister has thrown me away like a piece of trash."
Laurie says they both need to sit down and talk about what happened. There is an event coming up so that they'll have no choice. They will be judging a dog costume contest. Like you do.
"It hurt that somebody would think they're taking my place."
Cary and Brandi meet for lunch, with what seem like genuine smiles. But, from Brandi's voice-over, I think we all know better.
Brandi's a little worried about her friendship with Cary, too.
Mark is one of the six finalists for Culture Map Style Maker of the Year. Brandi does not look impressed. But she admits, when it comes up, that she had "a little bit of jealousy." Cary's saying that she doesn't want it to be a big deal that she's friends with Stephanie but her tone is all, like, "whatever, man."
Deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Again.
Brandi shows Cary the text message she got from Stephanie saying that Cary said that LeeAnne was back to her tricks. Follow?
Cary says she never said that and then she cries.
"I feel Cary's pain," said Brandi. Cary just wants to trust everyone. Ha!
"I don't know dollars but I know how to make you look young, how to make you well, I know how to make you feel good."
D'Andra goes to work. We meet Jackie, a cosmetic designer, and new marketing coordinator Amelia.
We learn lots about D'Andra here: She started working for her mother in 2004; she went to "naturopathic doctor school"; she started developing products for their skincare line; it's an aloe vera-based line and eye cream is their best-seller.
Is it just me or is that hair net not really covering D'Andra's hair as it should? Asking for a friend ...
It turns out her mother has not let her launch a new product in years because of the cost.
"There's a pool in the living room."
Travis and Stephanie are in Turtle Creek.
We meet Kelly, the realtor from Keller Williams. She says she knows a good house because she grew up in Europe and Africa and she's "seen multiple beautiful homes." (Don't look at me, that's what she said). The asking price of this four-bedroom, six-bedroom, 8,631 square foot thing is more than $8 million.
"This house is for the rich and the famous," says Kelly.
Kelly also says, "This is a toilet for the rich and famous." And there's that unsavory talk that we've been waiting for from our Stephanie, courtesy of a stimulating toilet. Now, she's interested.
"I mean it's like every girl's dream," laughs Stephanie.
That rain shower shower is cool. And there is a black swan out back in what looks like a moat.
Stephanie: "You get excited and you buy things and you know you do. Look at me."
Travis, clearly already signing the check: "OK." He still hasn't looked at her.
"I'm not gonna win. I'm saying it's fixed. I feel like I sound like Donald Trump."
Mark would love to win the style maker award, but Stephanie doesn't know if she can live with his ego if he does. She says shopping with him for what he was wearing was like being in a horror movie.
The awards are at Tootsies.
"Just so we're real clear, Mark's not gay. But I think that he's just very European in his style. Very European. Which he is. Swiss."
Mark explains his mannequins to the judges. Mark says, "I'd kinda like to come in at least second." Like you do.
"Whoever packs their suitcase first for Cabo gets a special surprise."
Kameron's children -- Cruise, 3, and Hilton, 6 -- are playing but she wants them to pack their toys for Cabo. A treat to get them to pack for a treat? Ohhhhh-K.
Ah, the real problem here is that Kameron is upset that she's missing "this weekend in Dallas because there's a dog costume contest and I'm missing it."
She thinks it's the perfect spot for her to ask people if they want pink dog food.
Court rolls his eyes: "Kameron, you gotta get over this pink dog food idea."
Kameron confesses that she knows what she's doing because she's been exposed to the business because her dad has been running a dog treat plant for the past couple of years.
I've been watching this show the past couple of years, too, but I don't profess to know how to -- hold up, wait a minute, is this thing on?
Anyway, Kameron slurs to Hilton: "If it doesn't close all the way, you know what you do. You close it, you push it down and then you sit on it. That's how a lady closes her bag. And then you know you packed well. OK?"
It's me, Dawn. Deliver me. That is all.
"In the end, we went with Guillermo [Tragrant]."
Mark doesn't win the style maker award. Cary: "He won in my book, though, so we're gonna go home and I'm gonna give him his prize."
They ask D'Andra if she'll be coming to the dog costume contest. She says she will. Cary says she's so sweet. Stephanie says she loves her.
So ... at some point this season, we know this relationship is going to go straight to hell in a hand basket with gasoline panties on.
Cary: "Here's the deal. I'm starting to get, like, pissed."
So, Cary brings up the text message. Aw, man, they roll the footage and I'll be darned if Cary wasn't giving LeeAnne the benefit of the doubt. So, Stephanie really did put words in her mouth.
Where is LeeAnne anyway? We're more than halfway and I haven't heard that laugh yet!
Cary tells Stephanie that they have to talk because the whole thing is stupid and she's done. Girl, you and me both.
"I feel like I'm swimming with the sharks every day of my life."
Dee comes to visit her daughter D'Andra, who feels "intense pressure." D'Andra has plans, yo; she wants to rebrand and make new products, update the website, social media, etc.
Mama ain't hearing nothing she's saying, especially if she's paying: "That's the way it's gonna be."
Mama throws a bit of napalm around and then leaves.
"Are you happy about that?!"
Stephanie's in the kitchen with the boys: Cruz, 5, and Chance, 7. I bet Travis has bought that house!
And I'm right. There's a reason he bought her favorite bubbly home. "We won the bid; we won the auction today," he proudly says. The asking price was $8.9 million. The buying price was $5.1 million. Travis says he bought it "really inexpensively."
To which Stephanie says, "I don't even know if I want to live in that house...Who has a swimming pool in the living room?"
Travis: "Really cool people have a swimming pool in the living room."
Stephanie says it's as if he went on eBay and bought a house. Travis takes a drink.
Stephanie says if it's not good for the family she wants to flip it and buy something else.
Let that sink in for a minute. He just spent $5.1 million on a house. And they're discussing it as if he bought the wrong style vacuum cleaner.
"I'm not asking my dog to do anything I wouldn't do."
There's LeeAnne! It's the Mutts annual Howl-o-ween costume contest and her dog, Carly, is dressed up as a hot dog.
Her other dog, Chief, wisely vacates the premises as LeeAnne dresses up as a hot dog, too.
"Well, maybe I should go to her."
Biscuit is dressed as R2-D2.
Brandi is talking to Brinkley, 5, and Brooklyn, 7, about friends possibly hurting them. Ohhhhhhh-K.
Brooklyn: "I have a counselor at school, and she teaches me about that." You'd better throw that hint, sister.
"Own your [expletive]."
They're at Mutts. LeeAnne is the only one in costume. LeeAnne and Brandi fill D'Andra in on the text message.
Cue footage of Stephanie, who says she's nervous to talk to Brandi. She and Brandi manage to judge the costume contest without speaking.
Shout out to dude in background who has on a T-shirt that says "That's the way baseball go."
"Even God gets rest on the seventh day."
They get back to the table and they say, "Let's get to it." So, of course, LeeAnne jumps in and wants to start with the text which actually seems like it should be the least of the worries. But it's been the talk of two episodes so, please, for the love of everything, let's get to it.
Cary confesses that, of course, LeeAnne would make it all about her.
And she calls Stephanie an unsavory name. Stephanie says that Brandi's her friend and she loves her and she's just protecting Brandi because she doesn't want LeeAnne to do anything nasty to her.
"If I hurt your feelings, then I'm sorry."
Stephanie confesses: "I'm trying to talk to Brandi and LeeAnne will not shut up."
D'Andra looks very uncomfortable, and in confession compares it to the G8 summit. Stephanie says how hard it's been since their husbands and kids are friends and the kids ask all the time about Brandi's kids. Tears. Me, too.
Next time: Mark and Cary. Brandi explains. LeeAnne tells her therapist she's concerned about that costume party we saw in the Season 2 teaser. She should be. Travis wants to throw LeeAnne out.