A new year means a new season of ABC's reality dating series The Bachelor, and what better way to kick off 2017 than with a little bit of #judgingyou.
Thirty women rolled up to the Bachelor mansion on Monday, Jan. 2 to meet the star of the 21st season, Nick Viall. A veteran of the show, Viall has already fallen in -- and out -- of love on two seasons of The Bachelorette and one season of Bachelor in Paradise. Talk about public displays of affection.
Viall is hoping -- say it with me -- the fourth time is the charm.
When the ladies arrived to TV Monday, they hoped of making enough of a first impression to survive the preliminary round ... and not all said impressions were, ehem, positive. In true-to-show fashion, most of the entrances were hot messes if not downright awkward.
Thankfully, that excludes our two women from Dallas, Rachel Lindsay and Elizabeth Whitelaw, both of whom stepped out of the first limo. (We're told by blogger Reality Steve that usually a good sign.)
Rachel is a 31-year-old attorney who was the first to enter the mansion wearing a red dress -- a small detail that ended up being a big point of contention after about a dozen other women showed up in the same color. Being the first lady in red, however, did more than leave an impression. She and the bachelor hit it off in conversation, and he apparently liked her boss lady attitude enough to give her the first impression rose. (Pictured at top.)
"From the first moment I met you, you stood out," Viall told Rachel. "I've been taken by your aura, your presence."
Then he laid a big ole kiss on her. (Not the first of the night, but the first genuine one of the night.) A win for Dallas and a win for society, no doubt.
Elizabeth also received a rose at the end of Monday night's premiere, though she didn't get much air time.
Now that we can breathe a sign of relief that our Dallas ladies are keeping it classy, let's look at some of the most ridiculous entrances we saw during The Bachelor premiere.
Every season there's a girl that shows up on night one and has way too much to drink. This year, that same girl came dressed in a shark costume. How do we know she was three sheets? Well, poor Alexis, who's an aspiring dolphin trainer, thought she was in fact dressed as a dolphin. It's a shark sweetie.
"Lady and the Tramp-ing" a hot dog
One of the worst ways I can think of to start a first date is with hot dogs. Even worse: cold hot dogs. But Josephine, a registered nurse from Santa Cruz, Calif, threw better judgement to the wind. Not only was her pick up line, "You're a weiner in my book," but she literally brought a cold hot dog in a book and then -- and then -- made Viall take a bite off one end while she took a bite off the other. I. Just. Can't.
Camel-inspired sexual innuendos
Woman riding up to the mansion on a camel: "Hi! I hear you like a good hump."
Every other girl in the house: "A camel! Why didn't I think of that?!"
Running in a ball gown
We approve of this next entrance by Sarah, a grade school teacher from Newport Beach, Calif. Context: Viall has been runner-up both times he's competed on The Bachelorette. Sarah showed up in tennis shoes thinking he'd like "another runner-up." Genius, also because sneakers are much more comfortable than heels. This girl gets an A+.
Balls, the end.
Jaimi, a chef from New Orleans, certainly raised Viall's eyebrows with a confession. "I really give it to you, you have some balls," she said, "and so do I." See what she means in the clip below. (Totes safe for work.)
Viall reportedly sent home eight women on his first night, but that's OK because he has more than a handful of other, dare we say, eccentric people to choose from. Here are the drama magnets to keep an eye on this season:
- Corinne, a 24-year-old Ivanka Trump look alike who tosses around the fact she's managing a multi-million family business and forgets to mention that she also has a nanny. Her name is Raquel in case you were wondering.
- Liz, a 29-year-old doula who met (and casually slept with) Viall at a Bachelor wedding last year. She opted not to give him her digits then, because that would be too normal of a circumstance to meet someone.
- Taylor, a 23-year-old mental health counselor who can't stop talking about how much her friends hate Viall. "They think you're a piece of shit" was the first thing she said to him. Charming.