Advertisement

arts entertainmentTV

'Little Women: Dallas' goes on safari, and it looks like big trouble found another target

Coming up: Daddy talks. Caylea cries. There's a "dude-free weekend." Brichelle! Asta raises her eyebrows when she gets the results of some genetic testing. An annoyed Austin needs space.

"That's not a job."

We're at Motto Bar & Sushi.

Advertisement

The party's over. Daddy Paul tells Daughter Caylea to get down. Friend Chase, not knowing who Paul is, steps in to see what's the what with this guy telling his girl to stop twerking.

News Roundups

Catch up on the day's news you need to know.

Or with:

He steps away, laughing, when he finds out it's Caylea's father. Ick.

Anyway, Paul doesn't care about Caylea's explanation. "It's not a right thing to do," he says. Heck, if he had known that's what she was doing while he was paying her rent, well, he wouldn't be paying her rent and she'd be at home.

Advertisement

Caylea goes to her mantra: She's grown. Well. Paul says if that's so, then she should act that way.

"It's called twerking, Dad."

Papa Paul -- I think I like the alliteration -- is frying bacon. (That's too much cleanup, Paul. Put it in the oven at 375 or 400 degrees for 12-15 minutes, according the make and model of your oven. Easy peasy.)

Advertisement

Anyway, Paul doesn't truck with that type of dancing: "There's dancing and then there's doing what you're doing." And then he gets even more real: "What does he see in you?" Aw, man, he's asking about Chase.

It seems mean on surface, but Papa Paul has gone through some ish. I don't know what it is, but he still feels it. And he's looking out for his little girl.

Oh, Caylea ... she says she just wants to be happy.

Papa Paul answers by saying that Little People have it hard enough just being accepted into society and he doesn't want her being taken advantage of.

"It's better than looking up on the internet who I am."

Asta and her sister, Elise, are sitting outside at a restaurant table.

Elise: "Mom and Dad would love it if you and Ty had kids."

Advertisement

What? Really? It's like that? Dang.

Asta tells Elise that she is going to have genetic tests because "I don't know what kind of dwarfism I have."

Elise wants to come. Of course she does. That question earlier pins her as the kind of sister who's all up in the business.

Asta worries about genetic mutations. She's scared but she wants to find it. It makes sense if kids are in the ether.

Advertisement

"I know I caught you off-guard."

Tiffani tells that to Caylea when all the women are seated at a table for an all-ladies dinner at Next Door.

(Is that a rooftop? I really need to get out more; I don't think I've been to one of those in Dallas since The Bone erected the Boneyard. That was a long time ago, in a Deep Ellum far, far away)

They all seem to be astonished that the men bring too much drama.

Advertisement

A chorus of Amens greets the assertion that Tiffani and Caylea's father coming in at the exact moment she was in full twerk was bad timing, to say the least.

Uh-huh.

Caylea says, "I understand ... but I'm still mad." Right. But she's willing to let it go, move on.

They do a lot of moving on in this show. You think some of this is going to fester and blow up in, say, Episode 9?

Advertisement

Plus, Caylea says, her dad gave her the $1,000 to give to Tiffani, who was willing to see her friend twerk for it. Sigh. "I'll send it to you online," says Caylea.

The subject of Chase comes up, and Chase gets the boot. Asta announces that they "need a dude-free weekend." They toast to that.

"How do you even get in this?"

Emily is trying to figure out how they'll open the door of a rented RV at Southwest RV Rentals. She and Bri settle on a cheerleader stunt. It works.

Advertisement

Tiffani shows up, alone, and someone asks, "Where's Austin?"

They ask too many questions. I would have patiently waited for her to bring him up, or at least waited for the road trip to begin. Anyway, after their tiff (I kill me), she drove herself.

"If I'm gone for two days and Austin's still on the couch, I'm going to freaking flip," Tiffani says.

Advertisement

I wonder if it will be a cartwheel or a front flip?

"And the wolf just walked up and joined our group."

Shout out to patient Larry ... the RV driver. The women are headed to Fossil Rim Wildlife Center where Gerry, the volunteer guide, drives them through the open safari.

They feed ostriches, Emily kisses a giraffe. Gerry says the center is home to "16 to 17 endangered species."

Advertisement

But leave it to Emily to notice that Amanda hasn't stopped texting the entire time. She's chatting with her old boyfriend Zack.

"I've known Zack for a really long time," says Asta, who points out that his last name may be a sign. His last name is Short.

Cut to them sitting outside in a row of chairs. It's dark and they pop a bottle. Then there's a noise, followed by another, followed by another. Emily is the only one who doesn't hear it. It's suddenly all Hatchet 2 up in here when up walks Brichelle, singing that she's got food.

But those were animal sounds that had everyone so spooked.

Advertisement

Caylea hurries up and says that she didn't invite Brichelle. And Emily calls her a wolf. Heh. It turns out it was Amanda. She called Brichelle to bring food.

Emily: "You called her, you can call for some pizza." Emily is not happy, but says she won't be the one to ruin this trip.

Ha! My girl.

Then they hear a howl and scatter in every direction.

Advertisement

"No matter what you have, as long as you learn to adapt, that's how you live."

Emily gives some advice to Asta, who is anxious and excited about getting her genetic testing, as the entire group is seated around some outstanding outdoor furniture outside the cabin. She tells them she finally made the appointment.

"I don't think it defines you," comforts Emily.

Advertisement

Caylea says, "I would never change being a Little Person." She believes, if anything, it makes you push harder.

Asta just wants to know what kind of dwarfism she has. The women think she has the same type as Amanda: "a good kind" called hypochondroplasia.

"If you can agree to drop the police report, I can agree to move on."

In the Georgetown RV, Emily wants to know what's up with that police report that Brichelle allegedly filed.

Advertisement

Allegedly, because I don't believe for a minute that Brichelle went to the police about that fight. And, she would be poking holes in her own case by continuing to be around the agitators.

Back and forth and then Brichelle posits that they all had a part in the brawl at Henderson Tap House. She agrees to "drop" the police report.

"Bye, loser."

Caylea sticks a fork in Chase during lunch in San Antonio that turned into a therapy session with one patient and six therapists. The women spent the night at the historic St. Anthony after Amanda surmised that one night in the wilderness was enough for everyone.

Advertisement

Brichelle warns Caylea about protecting her reputation: "Guys gonna say what they're gonna say, but it's not much they can say if you don't give it to them." Preach.

Bri says that Wooda says that Casper and Chase are still making fun of the situation and that Caylea deserves better.

So does Tiffani, but I don't think she's figured it out yet. Close, though. Before Caylea's session, she fell back to field a phone call from Austin, who, it turns out, has been on the couch playing video games. He's taking a break, he says.

Tiff cuts to the chase: "Have you been looking for any work?"

Advertisement

That was obviously a "no." He ends the call with "I love you."

She basically says, "Boy, bye." (She also says, "I heard San Antonio has the greatest Mexican food ever." Those might be fighting words. Hey, I just report what I hear.)

"Can't they tell me I'm a Little Person by looking at me?"

Back home in Dallas, Asta goes to her appointment.

Advertisement

She's pretty sure she's like Amanda but she's nervous. Asta, Ty and Elise are in the waiting room.

Elise: "I always thought you were just short." Aw, Elise. I think I like you.

They do a series of X-rays.

Advertisement

Asta confesses: "What if I have a mutation? This is serious to me. This is my life."

She also says people keep asking her what kind of dwarfism she has. I think she needs new people.

Dr. Kari Rollins, who the screen tells us is a "Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine," talks it out with everyone.

"So ... we got some interesting test results back on your X-ray." It seems Asta's bones "would say there's no indications of hypochondroplasia." But they can do more testing.

Advertisement

Asta: "I'm having a Little Person identity crisis."

"What did you do today?"

Austin tells Tiffani that he's played video games. He says he's taking a break from looking for a job.

Advertisement

She huffs and puffs, and I'll just touch on the highlights and let you fill in the rest.

Tiffani: "You can't even do the [expletive] dishes."

Austin: "I don't want to build a life with someone who sounds exactly like my mother." Is that the same mother who called the police on you, dear Austin?

Austin called Tiffani a few names, cussed at her a few times and left.

Advertisement

Next time: It's the State Fair of Texas! Someone else asks Emily for money and she wants receipts. I guess turnabout is fair play when someone who might be Tiffani's father is concerned about her relationship with Austin. Austin is leaving on a jet plane?

For more TV news, views and reviews, follow @DawnBurkes on Twitter.