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Arts & Entertainment

Sweaty Dallasites consider 95 degrees the 'too hot' threshold

Two dubious studies aimed to shed light this week on the ways Americans across the country perceive certain aspects of summer heat. Wilted under the steamy humidity of Tropical Depression Obvious, the results are ... unsurprising. Texans think 95 degrees is "too [dang] hot," and Dallas ranks 9th nationally among the country's "sweatiest cities."

The first tidbit comes from

The Weather Channel

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, which found "interesting patterns" (their phrase) arose geographically, based on survey responses to the question, "How hot is too hot?"

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Looks about right ...
Looks about right ...(The Weather Channel)
If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the southwest.
If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the southwest.

As one might imagine, regions above the Mason-Dixon line tend to get a little flushed around 85 degrees, whereas southern regions can usually weather 90 degree temperatures before swooning unto the vapours. A state-by-state breakdown notes that Texans tend to agree that 95 degrees was largely uncomfortable, but those crazy kids in Arizona and Nevada upped the ante to 100 degrees, as if it were an extreme summer-tolerance competition.

In a separate study, Helen of Troy Limited --  the company that makes Honeywell fans -- asked scientists at a consulting agency to develop criteria for ranking America's "sweatiest cities" based on data from the U.S. Census Bureau and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association's National Climatic Data Center.

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The firm, Environmental Health & Engineering, looked at average temperatures and humidity levels, as well as average wind speed -- which has an "evaporative cooling effect" -- and  "infrastructure like residential buildings or heavy industry, which can trap heat or contribute to heat output," according to a press release.

Always a big name in national lists, Dallas edged out Charlotte, N.C., for its 9th place spot and fell behind notable sweat-fests Washington, D.C. (6th), Houston (3rd), and Miami and Tampa, (2nd and 1st).

Now the question befalls us: What are we to do with this valuable information?

Will the world ever listen?
Will the world ever listen?

Austin-born rapper Nelly warned us in 2002 about the impending effects of global warming. Loathe to heed his call to permanently remove all our clothes, America now finds itself in quite the hot pickle. Scientists wouldn't be study-conducting unless it were important. How many Honeywell fans must we buy to evaporate sweat on 95-plus degree days?!

Further, what else do Texans consider "too hot?" On a scale of Icepocalpse to Beyonce, where do ghost peppers fall? (Perhaps lower than you might expect.) How about our obsession with breakfast tacos or our ridiculously fervent love of bluebonnet photo-ops?

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Let us skim the data and get back to you.