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Map: Thanksgiving could be medium-grade miserable if you’re in Texas

It would seem impossible to chart how miserable (or not miserable) your Thanksgiving might be. How do you quantify the number of awkward conversations with an estranged aunt? The number of passive-agressive fights with your siblings? The number of days you’re forced to sleep on the floor because you’re the only unmarried one?

Leave it to the Internet.

Real estate search company Estately measured six factors to pick which states are the most miserable places to have Turkey Day dinner. This is real. Factors are:

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1. Likelihood of a family food poisoning episode (aka, cases of salmonella per capita)

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Or with:

2. Likelihood of relatives getting drunk and making a scene (aka, prevalence of binge drinking among adults per capita)

3. Likelihood of political arguments (aka, states with most even split between Democratic and Republican voters)

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4. Dietary restrictions impacting meal quality (aka, states with highest rates of diabetes and highest percentage of vegetarians/vegans)

5. Likelihood of favorite NFL team losing on Thanksgiving (aka, losing percentage for Thanksgiving Day games of residents’ favorite team(s))

6. Likelihood of guests/cooks abandoning meal to shop a Black Friday sale (aka, percentage of Facebook users expressing interest in Black Friday sales)

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It isn’t exactly science. But it’s more math than I’ve ever put on the probability of a Thanksgiving family fight, that’s for sure.

Ohio is the worst place to have Thanksgiving, according to this study. Ohioites ranked highly in contentious politics, dietary restrictions and NFL team(s) losing. Good luck out there, anyone traveling to (or living in) Ohio.

The best place for Thanksgiving is Hawaii, the numbers say. Hawaii is super low on the salmonella scale and don’t appear to have a lot of complainers when it comes to diet. If you’re going to Hawaii for Thanksgiving, fine, good for you. I bet we’ll see your awesome photos on Facebook.

Here in Texas, we’re pretty middle of the pack: Texas ranked 31 out of 50, meaning it’s slightly more on the less-miserable side than, say, other middling states like New York, Colorado and Tennessee.

Regardless of where you live, we sincerely hope your Thanksgiving is not miserable. But if it is, tell us the whole story in the comments.