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Save yourselves: Starbucks' new Zombie Frappuccino is truly scary

Water. You need to chug a bunch of water before and after you taste-test Starbucks' new Zombie Frappuccino. The cloying, tart, green and pink drink in its smallest size contains 35 grams of sugar, and you're headed for a headache if you don't hit the h-2-O.

Videographer Tommy Noel taste-tests the Zombie Frappuccino. He cites "cough syrup, apple,...
Videographer Tommy Noel taste-tests the Zombie Frappuccino. He cites "cough syrup, apple, caramel" as some flavors he tastes.

In one word, Dallas Morning News staffer Tommy Noel calls it a "nightmare."

The Zombie Frappuccino is available only Oct. 26-31 at Starbucks and is the brand's latest marketing effort to sell an Instagram-worthy, love-to-hate-it drink. (See also Unicorn Frappuccino and Fruitcake Frappuccino.) The Zombie Frap is made with Starbucks' trademarked Frappuccino Creme "infused with flavors of tart apple and caramel," a press release explains. That stuff on top is "pink whipped cream 'brains'." Our brains were more purple than pink, but who cares. They were "brains," and they were actually the best-tasting part of the drink.

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All five of us decided this Zombie Frap is better left for dead. It does offer caramel-apple qualities, if you like that kind of thing, though both the caramel and the apple taste like fake ingredients masquerading as sugar and fruit. Like they're in costume.

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Or with:

Waitaminute, maybe the joke's on us?

You're left with scary-bad breath, a headache and a half-empty cup of brown sqlurp.

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Try it if you dare. But really: Don't. Maybe you should order a Vampire Frappuccino instead.

Here's our taste-test, in which Dawn Burkes utters, 'it looks like throwup.'

🤢 So, does Starbucks’ Zombie Frappuccino taste good? 🤢

Posted by GuideLive on Thursday, October 26, 2017
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Taste-testers: Cary Aspinwall, Dawn M. Burkes, Tommy Noel and Britton Peele.

We are here for you. Tweet us if you want us to taste-test something ... so you don't have to: @guidelive.