"Oh Whataburger, you would be a sweet, sweet lover." That's just one of many delicious lines from Houston resident Amir Safi's nearly 3-minute slam poetry session about Whataburger at a festival in Bryan-College Station.
"Texans love their Whataburger for many, many reasons," Safi, who grew up in College Station, told The Dallas Morning News' Tommy Cummings.
Safi, who is employed as a writer at Houston Methodist Hospital, unveiled his ode during a food-themed open-mic night at a weekly poetry slam that he hosts. It took an hour to come up with the poem.
"I thought, 'What kind of food do I want to write about?' And Whataburger popped up. I made a list of what I like about it and that was it," he said. "What I like is that I really made a connection."
Safi got the attention of Whataburger, which prompted the San Antonio-based chain to retweet his video and call him the "mastermind of words, the Jay-Z of Odes, champion of champs, wizards of sonnets."
Could Safi be the poet laureate for corporate Whataburger? "They've reached out to me," he said. "There could be a part 2."
Naturally, @Whataburger shared the video on Twitter, much to its fans' delight.
"McDonald's would benefit from a PR lesson from you. And Arby's? Arby's has enough problems. ... And Wendy's? Wendy's wants to be you when she grows up."
"Your business model is not to guilt us with calories but empower us with affirmation..."
"Oh Whataburger, you would be a sweet, sweet lover. But that's for another poem."
"You're the only place I've ever felt safe sitting next to a cop."
God bless Whataburger, and God bless Safi. What-a-poem.