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A $35,000 whisky with notes of pencil shavings is a thing that now exists

If you've been waiting for The Macallan to drop the latest bottle in its schmancy "Lalique Six Pillars Collection," it's time to raid your savings account: The prestigious Scotch distillery's sixth and final expression in the series is now available to U.S. consumers, and cheap is it not. The so-called "Peerless Spirit," presented in a distinctive teardroppy decanter, will run you a cool $35,000.

Split it with a few good pals and you're good to go.

The 65-year-old single malt whisky is, the company says, "one of the oldest and rarest ever released by the distillery." 

Think about that: When this stuff went into the barrel, the Korean War was raging, Harry S. Truman was president and the Beatles were barely in middle school. That's a mighty long time for a whisky -- that's how they spell the Scotch version -- to laze around in one of The Macallan's sherry-seasoned oak casks, giving it the hue of dark walnut and complex flavors including Madagascan vanilla pods and Moroccan dates with a rich and lingering honey and dark chocolate finish. Or so the company says, and unless you're taking a trip to Splurge Town, you'll have to take its word for it.

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Or you could listen to Craig Bridger, The Macallan's national brand ambassador, who in an interview with Forbes described the Peerless Spirit as having typical aged notes of spice and smoke but also "pencil shavings with honey and thick vanilla that spreads on the palate. An incredible long finish and unforgettable."

Mmm, honey, vanilla -- wait, pencil shavings? This required some investigation. Actually, if you stick your nose into the catch-bin of a freshly used pencil sharpener, it does have a faintly pleasant woody aroma. Just don't laugh through your nose while you're doing it. Trust me on this one.

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In the interest of whisky journalism, I nosed a bin of pencil shavings, so you don't have to.
In the interest of whisky journalism, I nosed a bin of pencil shavings, so you don't have to.(Claire Cardona)

The Macallan's collectible series is inspired by the six elements said to define the brand's highly regarded single malt whisky, among them "exceptional oak casks" and "curiously small stills." The distillery, founded in 1824, is one of the world's premier single malt whisky brands and, according to the company, the highest valued at auction in 2015.

The distinctive vessels are designed by Lalique, the 128-year-old French crystal house famous for its perfume bottles, so don't even think about repurposing them for dinner-party water containers later. The 450 limited-edition Peerless Spirit bottles are meant to evoke a drop of whisky dripping from the brand's iconic inverted triangle.

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"This stunning collection of decanters is the result of two kindred spirits rooted in a shared passion for craftsmanship, detail and mastery," Raul Gonzalez, The Macallan's brand director, said in a statement. "... It is the heritage, customs and traditions of both The Macallan and Lalique that have united to create these ultimate collectible whiskies."

Inquiries regarding purchase of the $35,000 Peerless Spirit can be made at us@themacallan.com.

The Macallan's Peerless Spirit: Even the box is fancy.
The Macallan's Peerless Spirit: Even the box is fancy. (Ralph Dunning)