When little baby Texans are born into this great, big state, they're given a list of things they're required to love, like bluebonnets and Willie Nelson and the TV show Dallas.
We're kidding. Kinda. But if you're a Texas native (or if you got here as fast as you could), you should know that at least nine ride-or-die brands separate the true Texans from the tourists.
The Dallas Cowboys
It's America's Team, bolstered by the world's most famous cheerleading squad. Forbes says the Dallas Cowboys are valued at nearly $5 billion, making Dem 'Boys the most valuable sports team in the world.
The pick-your-own-seat model is popular. The flight prices, too. But we'll say that the best part of Southwest Airlines is the punny flight attendant announcements. Like this one, aimed at a dawdling passenger: "Ma'am," the flight attendant chirped, her Texas accent thick, "put your tush in the cush so we can get this Boeing going."
On the website, Shiner says, "No other beer within state lines has the 108-year history we do." Look, we're not here to argue over a Texas tradition. We're here, a six-pack under each arm, ready to float the river.
Peculiar, that's the word. A cartoon beaver mascot beckons road-trippers on billboards. Card-carrying Texans just do what he says: We stop. We shop. We eat barbecue, buy Beaver Nuggets and fill up 64-ounce cups of Dr Pepper. Never has it been more popular to talk about those big! clean! and nice! gas station restrooms.
Dr Pepper remains a popular fizzy drink, despite Dr Pepper Snapple snatching up rights from the Waco original. Drink it straight out of the can, pour it over a scoop of Blue Bell, heat it up in the wintertime: Dr Pepper tastes like Texas.
Not even a deadly listeria outbreak could dethrone Blue Bell in Texas. The ice cream company is more than 100 years old, and if it's 100 degrees out, it's Blue Bell time.
A man named Howard E. Butt opened a grocery store in Texas about 100 years ago, naming it after himself. It's now the most beloved supermarket in Texas. But, you say, the Butts haven't opened any H-E-Bs in Dallas proper. We'll happily settle for its bougie offshoot, Central Market.
Texans aren't allowed to like another burger joint more than Whataburger. You like In-N-Out's Animal Style burger the best? Keep it to yourself. Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit forever.
Not even a bear can tear into this Texas-born cooler. (But seriously, how often are you around bears?) Beer is the real reason we love Yeti: This cooler keeps Shiner really, really cold.
We can feel your Texas pride from here. Hop on over to guidelive.com/texas-yall for some fun.
Correction at 9:45 a.m. May 23, 2019: This story misnamed Howard E. Butt as Howard E. Butts. We've fixed it above.