Reviews

OK, my mouth hurts and my sides hurt and my mascara will never be the same. I laughed so hard I slid down in my chair and nearly fell onto the stage. No higher praise can I bestow on Uptown Players' Legends than to say it's the most fun I've had in a theater this year.

The deliciously silly (and gloriously attired and made-up) B.J. Cleveland and Coy Covington portray, in drag, aging movie queens (literally, in this production) Sylvia Glenn and Leatrice Monsée, respectively. It pains me to reveal that Mr. Covington looks better in fishnets than I ever will, and Mr. Cleveland has the doe-eyed Judy Garland-esque, gamine-gone-pudgy thing down pat.

The Hollywood rivals, who've long had a famously festering feud, are brought together in their "women of a certain age" dotage by a slick producer, Martin Klemmer (Chris Dover), whose sole claim to fame seems to be "the Off-Broadway hit Craps."

Entourage's Ari Gold, he's not, but he makes an energetic effort to broker a deal to have the ladies star in New York in Thelma & Louise: The Musical, throwing out the enticing possibility that Antonio Banderas might be available to play the male lead. Both women are experiencing financial woes, but neither is about to let the other one know it. Sylvia "borrows" a vacationing friend's Upper East Side apartment for their meeting, and Leatrice arrives swaddled in a voluptuous cape, velvet suit and ropes of diamonds (or really good paste).

Mr. Cleveland, looking a bit like older Judy and sounding something like Carol Channing, makes one of the funniest entrances I've ever witnessed, sashaying around the apartment as if strutting down a catwalk during Fashion Week. Interesting note: The original Legends starred Mary Martin and Ms. Channing, and actually had its premiere in Dallas in 1986. Twenty years later, it toured with Dynasty rivals Linda Evans and Joan Collins.

But watching it at Uptown, it seems almost to have been made to be done in drag. Which brings me back to Mr. Cleveland: He really works those high heels, which he accentuates with little back-kicks at every opportunity. Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw would be mighty proud. Mr. Covington, the exact opposite, swoops in all angular bone structure and arched eyebrows and Lauren Bacall-esque icy blondeness. He's the long, tall drink of water (or possibly gin) next to Mr. Cleveland's bubbly champagne of a girl.

Both, apparently, have followed Sylvia's mother's advice: "Try to be popular. Try not to be yourself." After the inevitable, wigs-a-flying brawl occurs, the two get high and cozy over marijuana-laced brownies, and discover that, despite their reputations as a something-that-rhymes-with-witch (Sylvia) and spun-sugar-on-a-stick (Leatrice), they're actually much more similar than either would like to admit.

Mr. Covington and Mr. Cleveland get deservedly huge laughs with every word they utter, but it's their subtle bits – Mr. Covington's dainty retrieval of a runaway hors d'oeuvre, Mr. Cleveland's elongation of "Syl-viaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" – that turn the show from merely amusing to something approaching brilliance.

Natalie Wilson King, as the maid, Aretha, the show's token actual chick, holds her own with and at times outdoes Mr. Covington and Mr. Cleveland in the comedy arena, which is saying quite a bit. Mr. Dover is stuck with a couple of overly long vignettes that open each act – he does the best he can with them, but they're the show's weakest points, both structurally and comically. Mr. Dover comes into his own, though, when his character gets a taste of those brownies and he loosens up with the ladies.

Andi Allen has directed Legends at a lightning pace that actually makes one wish it were a little longer, and the updating of the script to include references to Britney Spears, Perez Hilton and Clay Aiken is just right. Despite the high level of snarkiness, though, the show retains a gentleness imported from its '80s origins: Even when it's mean, it's not really mean.

This is beguiling absurdity, writ with sparkly baubles, towering pumps and two guys who really know how to apply their eye shadow. Power to 'em.

PLAN YOUR LIFE Through Nov. 2 at KT Studio Theatre. $22-$25. www.uptownplayers.org, 214-219-2718.