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'Little Women: Dallas' cast tones down the makeup and turns up to make up

Previously: Emily gets served a cease-and-desist letter from Asta and Ty. Caylea is two-faced and beating faces in a new makeup artist career. Amanda is taking charge and moving ahead with Zach. Tiffani goes on a blind date, and all he wants to talk about is Austin.

"I was just trying to be a good friend to both Asta and Emily."

Brichelle and Amanda visit an ill Caylea at her apartment to tell her that she played both sides at Hibachi Grill during Asta's birthday party.

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Whatever. She has to know this. But, nevertheless, she persisted. See what I did there?

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Anyway, they explain to baby girl that had she just stuck to her guns and owned up to what she said, no one would be beefing with her.

Whatever. I'm so done with this.

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"That idea is free for the world to use."

Emily is visiting Mark McClelland, Attorney at Law. Mark, whom I adore, says that what they should have done instead of a Johnny-come-lately cease-and-desist letter was have Emily sign a non-disclosure agreement that he would have happily let Emily sign. Seeing as they did not protect their interests in that manner, Emily should feel free to move forward.

Emily: "It hurt my feelings."

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Also, I might add, the letter was a waste of money for both of them. I'm sure Emily had to pay Mark for that bit of time in his office or someone did. And I'm sure they had to pay for that letter, unless it was faux reality, as sometimes happens on these shows.

Mark has a heart. He suggests that they should come up with an idea to include Asta. Emily confesses that an idea has occurred to her in which Asta can possibly "make some money, too."

Mark suggests giving Asta a fraction of ownership. Emily agrees. She doesn't want to lose a friend over this.

"You don't need a man around for this kind of stuff."

I love this more assertive Amanda. She and Asta come to the rescue when Tiffani has a flat tire.

And I'd like to note that when there's no need for full makeup, the ladies are not piling it on like before. Makes me like them more, and makes everything feel more genuine.

Anyhoo ...

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When they walk up, Tiffani is sitting dejected in the back of her SUV. Amanda quickly tells her where the spare is located. Tiffani is in awe a little as Amanda gets to work: "Amanda's really good at reminding me that we can do anything."

Then, serious. Tiffani has found a lump in her breast. Two of her aunts died of breast cancer. Amanda gives her full attention and says that after they finish the tire, then they'll call and make an appointment. Amanda's good at this, too.

(Hmmmm. Wonder what she's doing for 4/20?)

"I want my son."

Emily is visiting Veronica, her grief counselor.

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Emily talks about how she wants another baby. The counselor "drills down" on some things she's said, pinpointing one: "How does Lontel feel about another baby?"

Emily doesn't know. He shuts down when she talks about it. Um, not to make light of it, but that probably means he's not ready.

But she's not ready to hear that, so ....

But there's something else Emily says that raises the counselor's concern, that Emily wants her son.

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Emily amends her statement: "I want a son. I know it won't be JJ." (Say she does get pregnant. How is she going to guarantee this son? She even says, "I don't want a little girl.")

The counselor says, "Having a baby can't be just for you."

And, "It is OK to live." Amen.

Emily confesses, with tears in her eyes: "All I can think about is what was supposed to be." Now, there are tears in my eyes, too.

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What?! Married At First Sight premieres tonight? Where's my remote?

OK, I'm back to the task at hand.

"I don't even know what half this stuff is."

Emily is inside a restaurant supply store, pricing equipment. Tiffani is along for the ride. And obviously to do her bidding.

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Emily: "Is this a fridge?"

Tiff: "Yes."

Emily: "Get in."

Tiff: Gets in.

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What kind of Jedi mind control is going on here? Doesn't she know that people die like that? Anyhoo, I can't make it my business. I've got my own child to protect from such dangers. They're going to make it so the restaurant supply store has to put chains on the doors like the junkyards do. Come on. Do. Better.

Emily tells Tiffani about the letter from Asta and Ty.

Tiffani confesses: "I didn't think Asta had that in her, to be honest with you." Girl, still waters run deep.

But Emily's blaming everyone but Asta and maybe rightly so. Asta doesn't really do much to raise anyone's ire. And if Emily stays on Asta's bad side, that's like giving up hope on being seen as nice herself. Asta loves everyone and basically causes no problems. But when you tick off an angel, expect retribution. That's all I'm saying. You will be smote. It might take a little longer than the average smiting, but angels play the long game. (See: Lucifer.)

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Anyway, to my point, Emily blames Brichelle being in Asta's ear, because "it's not Asta at all."

"I just don't want to fight."

Asta is ready for it all to be over. Except she's not quite that ready when Amanda brings Caylea to The Ivy Tavern.

She greets Amanda, who has the crud, with a big old hug. Then Amanda pulls back, walks back a few steps and tells her that Caylea's there. Asta's face goes blank.

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But she goes over anyway. Caylea apologizes without really looking Asta in the eye for a lot of the apology.

"I was just worried about myself, I guess," Caylea says.

Amanda croaks out, "It sounds like you're afraid of Emily."

Asta thinks so, too. In confession, she says, "She's basically just like a minion to her."

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"I think my body's ready for it."

Bri and Emily are taking a walk. Can I just say that Bri has been remarkably quiet this part of the season? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she had a big story line just last episode, but she didn't say much then, either. I'm waiting for this payload to drop.

Anyway, Emily wants to quit taking the antidepressants that she's on. Listen, Em, sometimes that's precisely when you need them the best. That's when they're doing their best work, when you don't think you need them any longer. She's worried about her weight, which she says just makes her more depressed.

Bri wonders aloud if her body is ready to go through another pregnancy. Emily says she's only 25. Man, I thought she was older than that, especially with all that talk about how Caylea, who just turned 21, needs to grow up. I digress.

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Bri counsels her to listen to the doctor, though.

In confession, though: "I think that she should wait" but "I'm gonna be here every step of the way" on the literal and figurative walk.

"This here is abnormal."

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Tiffani goes to Solis Mammography for an ultrasound and genetic testing. Asta and Tiffani are along for support. Theresa takes Tiffani to Sono 1.

Dr. Erin Happ, the radiologist, sees the bump that Tiffani found, but "I don't see anything concerning."

She advises her that with her family history that she should start getting mammograms at 35 and just continue with self-examinations.

Tiffani's relieved; now her only worry is about the genetic testing.

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"Why does he have to be the one?"

Lontel's Aunt Yvette has a question for Emily.

Make that questions: "Why do you think you're ready to have a baby right now?"

And that one big one up above.

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Emily says she wants the closest thing to what she lost, and Lontel's genes play into that.

Emily says she's not trying to hold onto Lontel but "I'm trying to hold onto JJ."

So, I just watched the YouTube video of when Emily first told Lontel she was pregnant with the baby. Uh, why even deal with him? He basically said he didn't care about her but he would care about a child of his. Maybe it was a bad reaction and maybe it was taken out of context. But, ooooh. Man, look.

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"Just cabbage. We just say cabbage."

Asta and Ty are prepping dinner for Brichelle and Amanda, who she's invited over for a drama-free evening.

Asta says she's making Napa cabbage, Vietnamese meatballs and white rice. That's when Brichelle says it's "just cabbage." Heh. I was thinking the same thing about "meatballs." But, to each his reach.

It doesn't take Brichelle long to ask what's happening with Emily. Asta tells them about the offer and that doing the logo would help her art career out.

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Asta: "Is it a good opportunity?"

"I am a very nice person ... I get walked over a lot," says Asta. I feel you. But that idea ship has sailed, girlfriend. Lesson learned: Even if it's with a friend, you have to take proper precautions to protect your intellectual property.

"I didn't say hi."

Tiffani has brought Bri and Emily to celebrate her good news. She tells Emily that she's sorry Caylea is coming. When Caylea finally descends the stairs, Bri says hi and she responds and it ends there.

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Follow this witch-eriffic exchange.

Tiffani: "I said hi."

Emily: "I didn't say hi."

Tiffani: "I'm glad you could make it."

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Emily: "I didn't give a [expletive] if you could make it."

Emily confesses: "Caylea's a spineless coward and someone need to call her out for always trying to please the party she's around."

I can't with either one of them. But especially with Caylea in this because she's not learning anything. Emily continues the verbal beat-down as Caylea gets up to pour herself a drink: ""You just get drunk over there with your [expletive]-ass face."

Caylea still doesn't get why everyone's angry with her. She thinks it's because she told Asta about Emily's plans. No, honey. It's because you didn't cop to what you said. This could have been over with an entire episode ago.

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Caylea kinda finally gets a word in and Emily kinda accepts her apology.

This. Is. Not. Club. Behavior.

Asta and Amanda finally show up. They party for a bit and then Asta asks to talk with Emily. Asta tells Emily she appreciates the offer but doesn't think it's fair. She feels as if she deserves the flat rate for the log and a percentage of the bar.

Em is a forceful negotiator. It seems as if she puts the ball in Asta's court, but I have a feeling she let Asta low-ball herself.

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Anyway, they end at a flat rate from Asta of $2,500 and a percentage rate from Emily of 3.5. Emily said because Asta wanted both, she couldn't give her the 5 percent she wanted.

Anyway, Asta is "feeling so much better now." She grabs Emily in a hug. And the turn up begins. And, of course, there's twerking.

Coming up: Emily asks Terra (from Dancing With the Stars and across the franchise) if she'll come on as an investor in her mini bar. Asta does not like that. At. All. Caylea cries after a positive pregnancy test. Huh? Whoa.

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Oh, you thought it was over? 

Me, too .... but then something came on called "Biggest Little Shocks."

5. Caylea's dad catches her twerking.

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4. Amanda refuses a drug test.

3. Tiffani kicks Caylea out.

2. Asta faints at boot camp.

1. Tiffani sends Austin away. Heh. I'm still laughing at "Hug me on Face Time."

Until next time, will you think of me when you're watching other TV?

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