Well, we know it doesn't work out between Rachel Lindsay and Nick Viall on this season of The Bachelor. Last week, ABC announced Rachel, a 31-year-old attorney from Dallas, would be the next Bachelorette (and notably the first woman of color to take the title).
But had the network not spoiled the surprise, we would have picked Rachel to go all the way.
Monday night, The Bachelor followed Rachel home to Dallas where she introduced Nick to her family. Hometown dates are typically where things "get serious" — after a whopping seven weeks of dating.
Whereas most couples are still riding high on the fantasy of Bachelor-land, Rachel and Nick took this time to tackle the tough stuff, like race and religion.
Their date in Big D started at the Concord Church of Dallas, a lively musical congregation of which Rachel is a member. Nick appeared to be grinning and bearing through the whole experience, but it turns out that's just what he looks like when having a good time.
"This is a little bit different than my church at home, but I'm loving it," he told the camera afterward. "I don't think I've ever felt closer to Rachel than in this moment."
OK, so box one: Check! Onto to meet the family.
Nick was greeted by Rachel's mother, cousin and two sisters, one of which is interestingly in an interracial marriage. Unfortunately Rachel's father, Sam, a federal judge, couldn't make dinner due a work engagement, which deeply disappointed all the viewers looking forward to watching him grill Nick. Luckily, Rachel mom, Kathy, pulled through and got straight to the heart of the matter — "the elephant in the room," as she called it.
"Have you ever dated a black girl?" she asked Nick point-blank.
Nick handled the question pretty well for having the eye contact capabilities of a toddler. He offered a sincere "Yes, but never seriously," followed by an explanation about how Rachel is more than just a color to him. But Rachel's family, being woke as hell, didn't let him off that easy. He also had to answer to her older sister, whose main concern was societal racism and how he would handle that.
Something he said between mumbles must have been convincing, because the hometown date ended with big smiles and hugs and even an L-bomb.
"I'm falling in love with him," Rachel told the camera at the end of the date.
Where does it go wrong? We can hardly handle the suspense.
Anyway, not every date went as seamlessly. Let's break the rest down one by one, shall we?
This week, viewers got to enjoy the piece of work that is Corinne in her natural habitat: a highfalutin mall in Miami where she dropped upwards of $3,300 on an outfit for Nick, which once again included pants that were way too tight.
After shopping, Nick got to meet the parents, sister and famous nanny, Raquel. Fans were both amazed and disappointed by the highly-anticipated experience. Seriously, no cheese pasta?
Corinne also let the "love" word slip with Nick, though it carried the sincerity of Frank Underwood in season two of House of Cards. There's no denying Corinne knows how to play the game.
Vanessa has been a front-runner in this season since the moment she stepped out of the limo. The Canadian special needs teacher gave Bachelor Nation all the feels Monday night when she took Nick to meet her students, who cried of joy upon seeing their teacher.
Things with the fam, however, did not go smoothly. Vanessa put Nick through the ringer twice, as her parents are divorced. Neither side seemed convinced. Considering that the couple couldn't answer reasonable questions, such as where they planned to live after the show, can you blame them?
The real winner Monday night was Vanessa's father, who stonewalled Nick's attempt to ask for his blessing. "Did you ask the other families the same question?" Vanessa's dad asked earnestly. (Spoiler alert: He did, he so totally did.) As one Twitter user aptly put it, not all heroes wear capes.
Raven (Hoaxie, Arkansas)
If there's one thing we learned about Hoaxie, Arkansas, it's that there's plenty of mud. When Raven, the fashion boutique owner, took Nick to her hometown, she ditched trendy dresses for a white T-shirt and shorts, and proceeded to show her rough and tumble side. The couple rode four-wheelers through a bog-like field, eventually opting for an amateur mud wrestling competition and make out session in the shallow water that had our skin crawling.
But there's good news that came with this date: Raven's father is cancer-free after having battled lung cancer for more than a year. Nothing like a feel-good story to start the waterworks early in the date.