Coming up: They're working at the car wash, yeah. Yelling and fighting. Police report? Naw. Yeah? Wow.
There's that skyline again. And now my stomach is in knots because it moves to the Henderson Tap House sign. There will be grief here. Cue the ominous music.
I am already taking a break.
Amanda confesses that she thought she was coming in for a "fun football party," but Brichelle accused her of having a drug problem, which is "1, not true 2, none of her damn business and 3, really pissing me off."
And, if she had a drug problem, it probably wouldn't be "rock," as Brichelle loudly supposes. Steroids, HGH, maybe. Talk about a manufactured reason for a fight ...
Then we see what happened when Amanda walked off from Brichelle. Brichelle took the football part of the party a little more seriously than everyone else and thought they were playing tackle. I thought those jerseys were a bad idea. Did someone blow a whistle? Anyway ...
And now I'm on break No. 2 and I am contemplating all the emergencies that can keep me from finishing this episode.
A lot of people in the party come over to pull them apart. Ty pulls Amanda from what has become a pile. Amanda holds up her hands up and says, "I wasn't doing anything."
Then Brichelle jumps on Emily, who had been the first to the fight and had tried to pull Brichelle off. We are not even two minutes in. Sigh.
Brichelle keeps saying that Emily put her foot on her face and goes after her again. Oh, there's Ty again. And then Bri gets her licks in, yelling, "You don't touch her." Listen. Ride or die is not a good thing. Yearn to live, Bri. Yearn to live.
A chair enters the fray and so does Brichelle's cousin Cimajie, who gives the best advice I've heard in a long time on a reality TV show: "Come on, come on, come on ... you gotta chill."
Caylea confesses (she's the only common link among the combatants): "This is just embarrassing. I invited everyone to watch the football game, not to start fighting. Yes, Amanda was in the wrong for pouring the drink on Brichelle. But for Brichelle to throw hands, physically on someone? That is not OK. There's no reason for violence."
That's why she was doing her best Alessia Cara: "I'll be over here."
Tiffani gets the prize for the first earnest confession: "I have no words on how crazy this [expletive] is right now."
Brichelle's cousin is holding on to her ("Hey, little mama, chill. ... If I let her go, she's gonna rock your ass") so she can't go back into the fray.
I just noticed that Asta's nose has been turned up the entire time and her hands have been clasped. Bless her heart. Heck, bless mine. This mess stinks!
Of course, Brichelle gets away and makes an end run -- ha! football! She pushes Caylea out of the way and heads straight through Bri, then through Amanda and right at Emily who is actually smiling. Emily's leg goes up, someone pulls Brichelle's hair and they all dive in.
Now, it's a free-for-all. Amanda gets a kick in, Bri pulls a pizza pan and uses it to bang at Brichelle, Caylea starts pulling a taller person's hair all the while asking, "Who the [expletive] is this [expletive]?" Emily still manages to look gorge, which makes me think this was more than one take?
Who is she?! Some woman just pulled back like she was Mayweather and got in some serious jabs.
Asta is horrified when she gets a look at Amanda's tooth. Amanda is, too.
Bri confesses: "Those average-height [expletives] had no right to jump in and start fighting us."
Well, there was some extraneous hair-pulling going on. But as Caylea said, there's no excuse for violence.
Caylea's screaming, Brichelle is getting hustled out by someone I don't know and an "average-height" woman is just standing there surveying the land.
Thank Goodness for the Dallas skyline. I needed to see something else. And I walk away again, wondering if my life insurance is up to date.
"None of us has ever been in a fight like that," says Amanda. Beat. "Maybe the Cheeks."
Anyway, they're all back at Tiffani's house doing a play-by-play with some color analysis.
But I hear some hypocrite action.
They laud Bri for picking up the pizza pan to defend her friend, but then castigate the other woman for defending hers. And they don't even know if that's her motive or not. I. Can't. With any of them.
Then we get to it. Amanda has been set free, or at least the truth has. Folks get quiet when she says, "Granted, Asta shouldn't have said that to everybody ..." Then they lean in and she says, "So I smoked a couple of bowls of weed? So I smoked weed because my shoulder hurt." Blank stare.
Amanda says she smokes sometimes for anxiety or pain. It's "something I'd rather do than take prescription pills." Um, but whether you agree or not, prescription pills are legal in Texas. Marijuana is not.
Asta smiles in confession. in confession: "It's a relief knowing that my best friend is not cheating in her competition using any drugs, any steroids or any other substance that I don't know about." Y'all are a trip.
She apologizes to Amanda who says, "It's fine." Yeah, tell that to your tooth. Young Austin big ups them all and they toast.
Now, we're at Dear Hannah in Snider Plaza, shopping with Bri, Emily, Caylea and Tiffani: They're talking about being bullied within their community, specifically by Brichelle. Caylea gets emotional and talks about what she's been through as a Little Person: being thrown down a couple of flights of stairs, gum in her hair, people telling her she's not a real person, that she doesn't deserve to live.
Bri worries for her son and says, "We all live in the same world and we're just short."
As they're leaving the store, Caylea gets a text from Brichelle that says she wants to meet up and talk about the party and that she's filing a police report against Emily.
What is this?! Break number x? I am not having the best time with this recap, y'all. Send supplies. But, just so you know, there is not enough comfort food in the world to help a sista out with this one.
Emily looks stunned.
Me, too. I think at the end of this that I will be permanently stunned. Emily, though, just says, "Let me now what happens with that. That's ridiculous."
She said it.
Ah, skyline. How I love you ...
Stephanie, one of Amanda's best friends, comes over and they chat. She tells her about the drug test and the party. Amanda owns her ish, though, and says "I poured my drink on her." S/N: She had to know that pouring liquid on someone would not be taken as a friendly pat on the back.
"You're seriously like my only sane friend out of all of them," she tells Stephanie. And then Stephanie does NOT prove that by saying that she just needs to get laid and offers to set her up with a "firefighter, good-looking guy."
Bri, Asta and Amanda are painting on canvas. Amanda talks about the setup. She says it's been a year since she's been on a date. OK, why is that "portrait" of Amanda dominated by her newly chipped tooth?
Caylea says she always wears heels when she twerks so she's always working on ways to be comfortable in them. Good reason. But there's a better reason: She says Little People have trouble walking in heels because of their legs and almost no arch in their feet.
Ha! Amanda: "I don't even think it's safe to do this in five-inch heels."
And then there's hair throwing and chair dancing and some get-low moves ...
Bri confesses: "Honestly, burlesque dancing isn't for me. I'm happy just twerking."
Amanda, Bri and Caylea knock around some ideas so she can make money to pay Tiffani. Caylea comes up with a car wash, since it's something they did in school to raise money.
Bri wants to know, "How are you gonna wash the roof?"
Fair question. Well, Caylea is doing it and wants them to come because she thinks they'll attract more people that way. She's thinking about those dollars, since the twerk business isn't exactly booming.
They sure do a lot of shopping ... we're at Stacy Furniture and Design. Emily and Tiffani are helping Bri shop for furniture.
Emily tells them that Caylea asked her for money. Bri tells them about the car wash. Their looks of disbelief and their laughter ... Man, look. Shady.
Emily: "I can't wait for this day."
She won't have to. It's in the next scene, even.
The sign says "Lil Twerk's Car Wash." Asta is on Amanda's shoulders to get to the roof. Caylea is on the body of the cars and manning the hose. Then a dirty, dirty car shows up ... it's Emily. This is how she's helping. Honey!
And then, Emily gives Caylea a stack of money, "about $300," after the truck is cleaned. Awwww. There endeth the lesson.
Cinnamon Creek Ranch, yo. Amanda is meeting her blind date at the archery place.
"Holy moly, my friend set me up with the tallest man in Texas," says Amanda. Um, yeah. He says he's "just a tad under 6-8."
He also says, "Good things come in small packages and everything's bigger in Texas." I groan. Then he says "Little People problems." I groan again. But at least now we know that Amanda lives in the Lower Greenville area.
But they're talking like old friends already. I kinda love it. Amanda even tells him about the fight: "I poured a drink on someone and they took it the wrong way." He doesn't even blink.
But he does ask if it's something she does on a regular basis. And laughs.
He's never been on a blind date before but he asks her out again. He makes some bad jokes, but he'll adjust. I like.
Emily enters Wrap Works Dallas on the back of a motorcycle that a man I hope is Lontel is driving.
They're picking up her car, which she had wrapped in memory of the baby. It's painted "satin black." And it is pretty.
While Mike and Joseph go to the back, Emily talks to the man I hope is Lontel about the fight and its aftermath. He says, "Don't go to jail is all I'm saying."
Studio 410 in the Bishop Arts District! That's where Tiffani works.
Do you have open appointments, Tiff?
Caylea and Tiff chat about Caylea's plans to "sit down and talk" with Brichelle. Caylea doesn't want to be around her anymore. She's upset that Brichelle called Emily a "pinto bean," especially because they're all Little People.
High Stone Massage. Do they ever stay home or not spend money?
Asta speaks in Chinese to the woman at the front desk, and the girls are impressed. All the girls are there except for Caylea, who is out with Brichelle.
Bri says they should get a discount because their feet don't reach the foot tubs.
Amanda tells everyone about her blind date, smiling the whole way. They say he's "above average-sized."
Brichelle is taking selfies while waiting on Caylea at Besa's Pizza and Pasta.
"Before I throw our friendship away, I want to hear what she has to say," says Caylea, not even fooling herself. Mainly because she already called her a "former" friend.
Brichelle says she's willing to move forward with Caylea and the other girls and put in the work to do so. Caylea is stuck on semantics: The drink was not thrown, it was poured.
They're all so full of it that they float. My shoulders hurt.
They jab at each other, this time with words, and neither one is listening to the other. And Caylea leaves. (Caylea's hair is on point in the confessional. Did Tiffani do that?!)
Brichelle snarks: "She didn't even finish her coffee."
As for me, it was hard enough finishing this. I feel as if it snagged a part of my humanity. Sigh. Onward.
Next time: Roller derby? Cosplay party. "Midget bar." Brichelle hosts a surprise event. Caylea's hooking up with "sketchy guys," and her dad shows up and says, "What are you doing?! Get down." Good times. (As I head to my boss and ask for hazard pay ...)