If there's one fundamental difference that makes The Bachelorette less palatable than The Bachelor, it's watching 24 men cat fight. Viewers got that in fistfuls Tuesday night, when the unfortunates from the 12th season of The Bachelorette reunited for the Men Tell All.
Host Chris Harrison played equal parts therapist and moderator, as pent-up aggression took center stage. We are, of course, talking about bad Chad Johnson, this season's Hitler and Donald Trump comparative, who faced the rest of the guys head on for the first time since he left the mansion, his veins bulging with anger.
To recap, many of The Bachelorette contestants suspected Johnson to be taking steroids. It seemed like the only logical explanation for his mood swings and constant urges to hit other people. Meat plate in tow, Johnson had the gumption to "set the record straight" Tuesday night. That notion, however, was frankly ridiculous.
It seemed Johnson had taken the place of this season's woman on a mission for love, JoJo Fletcher, in the Men Tell All hot seat, as he deflected allegation after allegation about why things just didn't work out — between him and the rest of the housemates, of course.
"It was like a frat house with these guys and it just seemed so fake, and I think that's why people didn't like me," Johnson said, adding the boys constantly gossiped about him. "Like what do you do to that point? You can't punch somebody on camera."
You can, however, date their ex-girlfriends.
Chad admitted to currently hooking up with not one, but two of the contestants' former baes, which he made something of a scene about while the show was airing.
Many of the men didn't take kindly to this, and in fact, Nick (formerly known as St. Nick from The Bachelorette premiere) even offered to fight Johnson. If it weren't for those empty threats ... darn.
"I'm pretty sure we probably shouldn't do that both in dress shoes," Johnson quipped. "We're both going to fall down either way dude, it's just going to look stupid."
Don't worry, those weren't Chad's last words.
After hearing sob stories from runners-up Luke Pell and Chase McNary, Fletcher took the stage. She fielded the usual questions — "What happened between us?" and "Where did it go wrong?" — but when it came to Johnson's turn, he forwent long-lost answers and got straight to the point.
"Me, more so than everyone else, knows Robby broke up with his girlfriend days before filming in order to be on the show with you and we all know Jordan is a liar, cheater whose own older brother won't even talk to him," he said.
"So I do wish you the best of luck in your relationship endeavors," he added with a smirk.
The only other speakers of note were the two campaigning to the be next Bachelor — Pell and McNary, who both made decent cases for their nominations.
"She taught me how to love again," Pell told Harrison during his interview. "As long as she's happy, I can be happy."
Samesies, said McNary, in more or less words.
Fletcher, of course, couldn't let slip how her love story ends, but she did say this:
"I had a really amazing journey," she said. "I'm just really happy with how things ended up and where I am right now."
Find out which of her two finalist Fletcher finds happily ever after with when The Bachelorette season finale airs next Monday, Aug. 1 at 7 p.m. on ABC.