Plenty of blood was shed on Tuesday night's episode of The Bachelorette, the second in this week's double-feature, and many viewers thought it would be at the hands of this season's villain, Chad.
The luxury real estate agent from Tulsa, Okla. is a muscular yet irritable dude known for offering to beat the other contestants' faces in, and as recently as the last episode was called out by both his housemates and the show's host Chris Harrison about steroid use. Chad, however, sent exactly no one to the hospital Tuesday.
Instead, JoJo Fletcher, Dallasite and star of The Bachelorette, unexpectedly planned two high-collision dates that caused a couple of bloody noses and sent one man to get stitches.
And the award for "Most misleading reality TV teaser" goes to ... ABC!
Considering Tuesday's episode was a continuation of Monday's, Fletcher pretty quickly eliminated a few folks. In lieu of an official cocktail party, the bachelorette opted for a day-long pool party during which several bodily fluids were exchanged. I'm talking about saliva, yes, but also blood.
Evan, the shrimpy erectile dysfunction expert, got a nose bleed after several of the men lined up and synchronically dove into the pool. Cool story bro.
By this time, everyone in the house was devoutly anti-Chad, so you can imagine the look on their faces when he garnered the last rose given out at the ceremony.
Fletcher said goodbye to Nick B., whom you may remember as Santa; Christian, the sculpted telecom consultant; and Ali, the 27-year-old bartender.
Change of scenery
After the ceremony, Fletcher wanted to rid her search for love of the drama — good luck — and whisked the remaining 14 guys off to beautiful Nemacolin, Penn., a town famous for its recent cameo on hit series The Bachelorette.
Because it's so close to Pittsburgh, Fletcher planned a group date at Heinz Field, home turf to the Pittsburgh Steelers football team. Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger led the guys through football drills, one of which resulted in our second blood sighting of the night. Sensitive singer-songwriter James Taylor got knocked in the head so badly he needed stitches.
Well, this according to the medics. James Taylor insisted he was "great."
After James Taylor was properly bandaged, the group was split into two teams for a scrimmage. It was essentially athletes vs. misfits, and in a crazy turn of events, the underdogs won — but not before Evan had his second bloody nose of the episode. Plug that thing up, man!
Good vs. evil
Though Fletcher scheduled a one-on-one date with Luke, the charming war veteran from Texas — it went very well btw — Tuesday's episode peaked with a dreaded two-on-one date. Alex, the fun-sized marine, was paired up with his arch nemesis Chad, only one of which would be returning to the East Coast bachelorette mansion.
Alex literally called it a battle of "good versus evil."
So what does the trio do on this most epic of dates? Take a hike through the woods and sit awkwardly together on a rock in the middle of a river. Riveting, I know.
For a while, it seemed like the battle might stay at bay, but Fletcher was determined to get to the bottom of the drama. Ultimately she came to her senses about Chad.
"Chad, I don't think you are the person you say you are," Fletcher said.
"I don't think that the way you behave and resort to violence is something that's acceptable and I don't want somebody that threatens other people and can't get along with other people and thinks physical violence is a way to solve things," she added before giving Alex the rose and leaving Chad alone on a cold rock to think about his life choices.
The Bachelorette contestants celebrated.
Even JoJo and Alex celebrated with a romantic evening to themselves. But the excitement may be short-lived.
Unlike last season's villain, Olivia Caridi, who was left on an island, Chad moseyed his way out of the woods and back to bachelorette headquarters — apparently he can't take a hint. We have a feeling he's back to say his peace, but we won't know for sure until Monday, June 20, when The Bachelorette returns to ABC.