Previously: Cary talks about summering in Switzerland. Stephanie says "being married to Travis is not a free ride." LeeAnne stalks off again. Brandi doesn't like Bryan that much right now. And now, episode six: "Locken Loaded."
We're at Casa Golf Course.
Stephanie and Travis are in the kitchen, where all great conversations begin.
They're going to go over Chance's room, "kind of a hodgepodge."
Travis: "I think hodgepodge looks good. If I was a kid, I'd rather be in the hodgepodge."
Stephanie rolls her eyes. She confesses that Travis thinks being a decorator is "a genetic thing" since his mother was one. But she thinks he has the "worst taste of all when it comes to decorating."
Stephanie wasn't talking that nonsense when he decorated her wrist in $75,000 worth of diamonds last episode.
"We have these two Samurai warriors that protect the house. They are real ugly. Travis won't let me get rid of them," Stephanie says. Really?! Then, heh. "So I just named them Gayle and Oprah: They are friends one minute and they fight the next."
Decorators Donna and Debra arrive. Stephanie says Donna is a "decorator slash mediator" because Travis is really involved!
"Carpet on carpet? Does that make sense?" Travis asks. And then he says, "I don't want curtains."
Brandi's still mad at Bryan for being "late and drunk" to the cookout for her grandfather and she's "angry and frustrated and upset." She's never felt more alone in her marriage. "I don't know how to deal with it anymore," she says. She calls him and the call goes straight to voicemail.
We all know what that means.
Brandi rings the doorbell at Marie Reyes' house. ("LeeAnne's friend" looks wonderful in this scene. That color combination of pale yellow and bright pink is unexpected but the material is soft enough to carry it and the overall effect is quite striking.)
Brandi is back to continue little Sophia's dance lessons. She taught cheerleading and dance to high school students and "absolutely hated it." Wait for it ... this is not only a favor to Marie, she's hoping to get some dirt on LeeAnne, too. Oh, Brandi ... bless her heart, it's the only thing bringing joy to her life right now.
"Sometimes when I dance, it's a little rated R," Brandi says, scarring my eyes again with the memory of her joining the strippers on stage at La Bare. Oh, man -- and then they showed it in a flashback. So she brings it down to PG for "little Sophia."
We're at LeeAnne's place and she and boyfriend Rich are teasing the dog, Carly. Rich says Carly has a "man face." (Have they been watching Yo-Kai Watch? Because it's a real thing.) At least LeeAnne is talking to a person and a dog now. Maybe the dog is a security blanket? Baby steps. Anyway ...
Rich asks LeeAnne about the stuff that was bothering her this morning: Marie. So, here we go with he-said, she-said again. LeeAnne begins, "Tiffany told me" ... Dang, girl. Haven't you ever heard:
If your lips would keep from slips, five things observe with care: To whom you speak, of whom you speak and how and when and where."
"Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see."
Quit following behind some mess... OK, back to the recap:
LeeAnne says that Tiffany says (see what I mean?) that since the cocktail party where she showed her butt that Marie has been texting her the "worst" ish about her. Flash back to a week ago and Tiffany is saying, "Marie has been texting me, constantly, psychoanalyzing you."
I have questions.
Did you see the texts? Did you do a dramatic reading when you did see them? Did Tiffany respond to the texts? Did you see those responses? Because if Tiffany responded, perhaps those are two friends you can't trust instead of one. #Justsaying
Rich: "You let that stuff bother you too much." Amen.
LeeAnne says that she doesn't want to overthink it. Rich: "I think you already are."
I had my doubts about him, but he's growing on me.
Back at Casa Reyes, Brandi and Marie are sitting on the couch. Brandi says she had so much fun at the cocktail party besides the fact that "LeeAnne is just bat[expletive] crazy." Marie says, "I know. I mean, who does that?" Uh-oh.
Flashback. All right, Brandi, it takes two people to have an argument. But then Marie says that Brandi's right and "I know that LeeAnne could benefit from therapy." She's stepped in it now.
And then Marie begins her confessional in a way where you know it's all over but the shouting, "I love LeeAnne. She's been a valuable partner in Charity World" ... and she says that LeeAnne is going to have to say she's sorry.
Mark and Cary Deuber are shopping at Stanley Korshak. They meet up with personal shopper Karen.
Mark wants to update their website. Most people just clean up a font or two and change the color scheme. Mark goes shopping. Cary explains that Mark took the pictures on the website during their honeymoon. You don't see her face, but that's her body. Well, that is her face beside "Facial Rejuvenation."
Who needs Karen? Mark's all about the clothes. He's right. That is a "killer gown."
Cary keeps it grounded, though, when Mark says that one particular outfit will look good with just a necklace and the leather pants. Cary says that maybe it would on a 19-year-old model, because "at some point, [expletive] starts sagging and he can only do so much for me."
We're flying through Dallas again, and we land at Stephanie's house as Brandi pulls up. Stephanie is in Chance's room, now with a Cowboys theme. Brandi laughs and wonders why they don't have a picture of her up.
The duo giggle-talks about Bryan chewing off his toenails and liking to pick his nose. Brandi's lying on the floor, laughing. But then it gets serious when Brandi mentions the cookout for her grandfather.
Stephanie feels bad because Travis was involved, because Bryan was with Travis instead of at home.
"Maybe you should just talk to him and let him know how you feel," Stephanie says. Yes.
Stephanie suggests a date night. In her confessional, she says that the fact they don't communicate is "a recipe for disaster." And that "things are going to explode." Foreshadow much?
Brandi's nervous about talking to Bryan because "he's not very good with confrontation."
LeeAnne is talking to the dog again.
Tiffany shows up and joins the conversation. She gives LeeAnne a long hug. They're going to Marie's house to confront Marie. Tiffany printed out the text messages! To quote Marie: "Who does that?"
This is not how you friend, ladies. LeeAnne: "My reputation is in jeopardy."
And I laughed out loud when Tiffany says they're going to go in there, "Super Twin powers." That's Wonder Twins, Tiff, and one of them was fairly useless, but I get your point.
LeeAnne intimates that maybe Marie took the wrong medication. Listen, honey ...
Tiffany and LeeAnne are motoring up Marie's driveway.
First off, you want a meeting like this one to be on neutral ground.
Marie's already got a hand up because it's her property and you can just be thrown off it. LeeAnne says she feels like she's about to throw up. Tiffany keeps reminding LeeAnne that she has the "upper hand." Wrong, girl. Be a real friend and tell her the truth.
LeeAnne says she's "heartbroken." Why is Tiffany pushing this up? And then she's praying about it!
LeeAnne explains: There are times they are "100 percent sure that God saved our lives." And if "God is showing us these text messages because he's trying to alert us that someone is trying to do damage in our relationship, then we need to pray to see what he wants us to see." I'm praying right now: Dear God, it's me, Dawn. Do you want me to see this? If so, what do you want me to see in it?
Tiffany gives Marie a warm hug.
Marie asks, "How's everybody doing?" LeeAnne responds: "How's everybody supposed to be doing?"
Marie is about to get attacked. In her own house. Let me tell you something: The minute I got that question -answer from LeeAnne, I would have found something else to do. And they would have had to find another couch to sit on. Puh-leeze. I don't pay the electric bill for rabble-rousers to come in and suck up all the air conditioning. As one of favorite cousins is quite fond of saying, "Don't come for me unless I call for you." Girls, bye.
Marie looks like she has no idea what's going on or what's about to happen.
LeeAnne says it bothers her that everything that comes out of Brandi's mouth is the same thing that Marie has texted to Tiffany. I get that, Marie. I've been that friend before who's willing to risk the friendship to set someone on the right path. Sometimes a real friend has to take the bullet so that they can hear the truths in what someone they call "a little redheaded [expletive]" is saying.
LeeAnne says that Brandi can't be within two feet of her without flipping out. Oh, so that was Brandi who threw the glass and walked barefoot in the street? LeeAnne continues, saying that it was Brandi's issue. Marie rightly says that LeeAnne made it about her, too.
Marie: "I don't like to see you like that. How are we gonna support and have your back when you're acting a fool?"
LeeAnne ain't hearing none of that. She ain't never scared. She walked out of the cocktail party because she was about to lose it: "I am so tired of her being so mean and so evil to me for no reason." Really?! And then she gets emotional, well, maybe what passes for emotional in Charity World.
And since the tears didn't get a rise out of Marie, she yells: "I'm not having a mental breakdown. I'm [expletive] as hell." I'm looking at her now, like Marie's reaction shot that says without saying, "I can't believe this ish."
Tiffany, who hasn't said a word since pushing up this fiasco of a fight, is holding LeeAnne's hand down on the couch.
Marie asks, "Where do we go from here?"
LeeAnne doesn't know. She repeats her line from the car -- oh, she was practicing -- "I want to throw up." And then Marie straight up lies that Brandi's never said anything about not liking LeeAnne. Don't they know the cameras are rolling?
LeeAnne thinks Marie probably came from a good place but "I think she's forgotten what loyalty is." There's that word again ...
Marie's better than I am. When LeeAnne said, "Thank you for letting us come over," I think I might have lost it. But my friends are better than hers, so ...
Such a beautiful city we live in ... They could just do these fast cuts and swoops all the time instead of just using it to take us from one housewife to another.
Cary and Dr. Deuber wheel a rack of clothes into Courtney's apartment. They're using her place for the photo shoot because she has a nice high-rise view.
Courtney says, "If it feels wrong, then it's right" as Cary starts posing in just her panties and a top. Then Cary does some extreme yoga in full dress and takes off her top for other shots. I can't.
Brandi's in the kitchen with the girls.
She's wearing a shirt that says "Jesus Juice Made Me Do It."
"I don't have a nanny," she says. And then, when Brooklyn refuses to help make the spaghetti because she says she doesn't like it, she says: "Whenever Bryan's gone, Brooklyn is a little bit more nasty."
Brandi calls Bryan. He's at the airport, "getting ready to board." She's still upset about the cookout and she feels nervous about the date night she just made plans for. "Bryan really doesn't like drama, so I feel nervous," Brandi says. Sigh. She feels as if she can't even talk to him. Maybe they're just out of practice since he's never home?
Now, Brandi is at Stephanie's house.
OK, wait, Miss "I Don't Have a Nanny," where are your children while you're Jesus-juicing it up at Stephanie's?
Brandi brought outfits for Gayle and Oprah, the two Samurai warrior statues in front of Stephanie's house. There are some brightly colored bras and a tutu, among other things. These women may not know how to have your kind of fun, but they sure do enjoy their kind of fun. Makes me smile.
And then they dress the statues with beads and T-shirts and a tutu around one of the necks. Stephanie thanks Brandi for trashing the neighborhood. And then she says what we were all thinking: "My neighbors hate me."
Dr. Deuber is opening some wine in the kitchen. Cary says she'll have "a little."
"You know I'll finish whatever you don't drink," Mark says.
She's not looking forward to seeing her "40-year-old ass." She asks for Photoshop, again and again. He asks: "What's wrong with you? Why do you not realize how perfect you are?"
She replies: "I don't love me as much as you love me."
She doesn't understand why a plastic surgeon isn't into fake stuff. They're so cute. "We're so lucky we got to marry our best friend," says Cary. Awwww.
Travis is home!
He calls the children Big Dude and Little Dude. Cute. The entire family goes into the redecorated room. As usual, parents show way more enthusiasm than the children.
Back to the simmering non-fight at hand ...
Bryan does not look enthused. Maybe he has RBF?
Anyway, he and Brandi are talking before they go out. He says he's exhausted from traveling. Brandi says "Sometimes I feel sorry for him." But getting the family right is important.
The kids are with Alejandra, the babysitter. I thought that was important to note as I called Brandi out about that earlier. Bryan is the most animated I've heard him as he says goodbye to Alejandra and thanks her. Score one?
Brandi and Bryan are at Texas de Brazil.
"I think emotionally and physically, Bryan has checked out," Brandi says. "... But tonight I really need him to hear me."
Eloquent, she is not. But she says, "I just want you to be with me more." She says she feels as if he's not giving her enough attention.
He seriously says: "Seriously."
Oh, Bryan. I get it. You're tired and you're just looking for dinner. You're out there bringing home the bacon. You're taking a trip through four or more states in 48 hours for whatever it is you do. You just want home to be there, silently, when you come home. That's not the woman you have, man. It's just not. As my little one is fond of saying, "Man up!" To which we all just say, "Yes, ma'am!"
And then he steps in it: "I feel like I'm giving you all the attention."
Brandi can't hide what she's feeling as he says that and rolls her eyes, just a little. She just wants them to share moments, with the girls, etc. "You know," she says. And then, "Did I do something wrong?"
He says, "Yeah." She says, "Tell me what I did."
He gives her this look of almost disdain. She starts crying and he seriously says it again, "Seriously."
And then he says, as if she isn't even there, "Wow. I didn't see that coming."
He puts his napkin down and as he walks away from the table, he says, "I've had enough. I'm done."
Next time: Tiffany is putting on a charity event so "Aaron gets a foothold here." Rumors fly about Cary and how she became Mrs. Dr. Deuber. And there's a "great party" at Heidi's! Brandi's life gets more complex as her younger brother tries to overdose.