I just looked at more than 100 photographs of cheeseburgers in our database, taken at a wide variety of restaurants and fast food joints. Whataburger, Snuffer's, McDonald's, Mooyah, Five Guys, Twisted Root ... They all have one thing in common: The cheese is on top of the meat, the way God intended.
And yet, Google -- a company that employs some extremely smart people -- managed to get that detail super wrong with their version of the cheeseburger emoji.
The cheeseburger is a new emoji being rolled out to digital platforms everywhere with unicode 10. (There are 56 new emoji in total, including a vampire, a sandwich and gloves.) As has been pointed out, most platforms correctly place the cheese on top of the meat.
Worse, the cheese in the Google emoji is clearly at risk of dripping onto your hands as you eat it (and as the freshly-cooked meat on top melts it). Since it's directly on top of the bun, there's less distance for that cheese to travel before burning your hand. Seriously, Google, how irresponsible can you be?
Google CEO Sundar Pichai tweeted on Saturday, "Will drop everything else we are doing and address on Monday:) if folks can agree on the correct way to do this!"
There was never any disagreement, Mr. Pichai. The internet doesn't unite on topics very often these days, but the sound of thousands of tweets explaining how burgers are built should have been deafening.
There are also some people online claiming that Apple's emoji is also incorrect, seeing as how they place the lettuce underneath the meat patty rather than on top of the cheese. But those people are silly, making too big a fuss about things that don't really matter. Lettuce placement is trivial. Cheese placement is life-or-death.
This debate was shoved back into the spotlight early Monday thanks to a political tweet concerning Fox News. As most major media outlets focused on breaking news about the indictment of Paul Manafort, Twitter reports surfaced claiming that Fox News was instead spending its air time discussing #cheeseburgergate. Snopes found this claim to be false, citing the Twitter timeline for FOX and Friends, which featured a lot of Manafort talk but no discussion of cheeseburgers.
Remember when social media was more about arguing about emoji art and whether a dress was blue or white? I miss those days.