Happy birthday, Mark Cuban!

Yes, it is true. Today marks Mark Cuban making it another lap around the sun. It so happens that J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series for those who aren't in the know, also calls July 31 the day of her birth.

The image above is an homage to Cuban and Rowling by way of Photoshop. You go, Mark. Let's hope your Champ Patronus keeps Dallas safe from other NBA teams for years to come.

Our gift to you both is a fan fiction written by our own Britton Peele: 

"Mark," Dumbledore said softly, peering over his half-moon spectacles. "The rules of the tournament are clear and cannot be changed. You cannot have Mister..." he glanced back the piece of paper Mark had handed him, "Nowitzki take your place."

"But come ON, Professor!" Mark argued. "It's a tournament! I want to enter my team!"

Fawkes squawked from beside Dumbledore's desk, eying the hot dog that Mark was holding as its condiments dripped down to the floor of the Headmaster's Office.

"Shut up, bird," Mark said. He turned back to Dumbledore. "If I can't enter the Mavericks into the Tri-Wizard Cup, then I'm gonna go start another business or something. I have big ideas for a network of High Definition Portraits. Just you wait. I'm going to be all over the Daily Prophet some day."

Mark smirked. Dumbledore could see it in a flash of Mark's eyes before the words even exited his lips, "And, for those reasons: I'm out."