Screengrab from 2015 National Beer Mile video on YouTube

Did anyone actually like gym class in school? Even the athletically gifted looked dumb in ill-fitting gray cotton uniforms. Don't even get us started on calisthenics. Or, late bloomers trying to wriggle their way half-clothed through the dressing room. Then, you're late to lunch and lucky if there's a single squished Capri Sun floating in dingy melted ice at the bottom of the cafeteria cooler. Know what's better than Capri Sun -- yeah, we said it -- beer.

And, now that you're a grown-up, people in the fitness industry will give it to you. They'll also give you margaritas, food truck fare, live music and all-out parties. Come, relive a better youth with us. 

National Beer Mile

National Beer Mile

For a long time, the only way to take part in a beer mile locally was to surreptitiously sneak a cooler over to a high school track and try to not make too much noise. Don't ask how we know. No matter how under the radar, these renegade events have elaborate official rules, and there are people out there who can chug four beers (one per lap) and finish a mile faster than most adults can run a single mile on the best day of their life. You don't have to be one of those people to still enjoy the off-beat event. In fact, you can walk one. Or, skip along like Gene Kelly singin' in the rain. 

The National Beer mile is an official touring race with stops in 20 cities nationwide, and they'll be back at Dallas' Fair Park on May 28. Tickets may seem slightly pricey at $30-75, but you get more than a mere sweat rash. A lot more. 

General admission includes four beers during the race itself, plus an open beer bar at the after party. VIP Admission adds on express check-in and a swag bag with a t-shirt, sunglasses, bottle opener and koozie. There are discounts if you sign up with a group of five or more. They expect thousands to attend, and -- in addition to that open bar -- the party includes live music, food vendors and bar games. Costumes are encouraged and, yes, they do expect to sell out early. 

Oh, very important: This is a 21+ event. No ID = No Entry.

Dallas Marathon Kickoff Party

You don't have to run 26.2 miles to enjoy this party. In fact, you don't have to run at all.

Dallas Marathon 2016 Kickoff Party and 5K

But, since you're already at White Rock Lake, why not take in an easy 5K (that's 3.1 miles) before drinking free Miller Lite at the Dallas Marathon Kickoff Party? The party coincides with opening day to register for the Dallas Marathon and sets you off on the right foot if you do plan to take on that big mamma of local running in December. Even if the marathon, half marathon or 5-person relay isn't for you, partying might be...

Tickets to the kickoff party are $25 and include entry into a chip timed 5K, a Dallas Marathon training tech shirt and access to the post-race party, where there will be music by Beatles tribute band A Hard Night's Day, food trucks and that free beer we mentioned at the Miller Lite Party Trailer. Reps for the Cowboys, Mavs, Stars, Rangers and FC Dallas will also be on-site with giveaways.

Viva La Margarita Race

Viva La Margarita Race

You might have heard by now that runners like beer. (See below, specifically.) We assure you most won't turn up their noses to a margarita either.

The Viva La Margarita Race offers 5K and 10K routes around Fair Park. Tickets are $45 for the 5K or $50 for the 10K, and that includes a race t-shirt, chip timing, finisher medals and tickets for drinks at the after party. 

A nice touch? Unlike some boozy races, kids are invited and can even get virgin versions of the tasty drinks.

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