Adulthood is so antiquated. Would your 7-year-old self recognize you in that stuffy suit? Driving that fuel-efficient Chevy Cruze like every other person in America?
No. But destined to the daily adult doldrums you are not! Not with so many places in D-FW giving you full permission to play. Here are a few:
Adult Night at Legoland
Do you ever get the urge to tell that little Legomaniac kid in your life to step aside let the Lego master show him how it's done? OK, let go of the kid's Legos before anyone gets hurt and save your creative energy for Adult Night at Lego Land. On the last Friday of most months from 7 - 9 p.m., adults 18 and up get the Legoland Discovery Center all to themselves for grown-up play time. There's usually a special Lego construction featured each month, plus plenty of fun extras like eating contests or free chocolate. Does the chocolate come in Lego block shapes?? Register ahead of time for an admission discount.
3000 Grapevine Mills Pkwy., Grapevine. 877-818-1677.
If you don't know what a "whirlybug" is, think of a bumper car that you drive with a joystick and a foot pedal. Add a whiffleball. Swat it around the court while spinning in circles, and you've got whirlyball. Sound frivolous? Hardly. The leagues in Hurst and Plano aren't about spinning their wheels, literally, because they can boast more than a few national championship titles.
147 East Harwood Rd., Hurst. 682-235-1030. whirlyball.info.
3115 West Parker Rd., Plano. 972-398-7900. whirlyball.info.
Bubble soccer in the backyard (bar)
Bored of your own backyard? Don't have a backyard because you live in an apartment? When the weather is warm, check out the Facebook page for the Backyard at Social House Uptown. When the sun comes out, the brews go on ice, the backyard opens up, and they bring out those big blue balls -- for backyard bubble soccer, of course. What's bubble soccer? It's soccer turned into a contact sport thanks to those big protective bubbles. You can also play giant beer pong and other games at the backyard bar.
2708 Routh St., Dallas.
Dallas Dodgeball League
Pummeling pain at other adults is only socially-acceptable in a few sacred spaces, and one is the dodgeball court. You don't even have to worry about getting picked last anymore, just round up a team, come up with some sort of consistency in attire -- matching wristbands are always an acceptable choice -- and a team name that is clever/terrifying, if you can. (So many ball puns.) For inspiration, check out the Dallas Dodgeball League Facebook page.
4435 McEwen Rd., Dallas. 972-490-0006.
Social Science at the Perot
Is it just me or does this adult-only event have a sexy ring to it? With special themes at each event and plenty of signature drinks to be mixed up by Wolfgang Puck, it's safe to say the Perot offers an allure for adults, too. Not to mention, some events feature a craft beer stand, games, theme-specific shows and demonstrations. Events tend to sell out well in advance, but plenty more Social Science nights will come. Check the Perot's website for updates.
2201 N. Field St., Dallas. 214-428-5555.
Boozy milkshakes at Twisted Root
Everybody loves Twisted Root's burgers, but your inner child must slurp down one of the famous alcoholic shakes. Our original favorites, like the Fruit Loops strawberry milkshake and Grandpa's favorite, aren't on the menu anymore, but maybe if you throw in a "Pretty please, with sugar on top?" you'll find some schnapps in your shake. A new favorite, the Banana & Bailey's, reminds us of Grandpa's favorite, though. If Thin Mints bring back memories of your sweet childhood, try the Creme de Menthe & Chocolate shake.
Multiple locations. twistedrootburgerco.com.
A bar in an arcade
Bar + arcade = Barcadia. Or should we say, every gamer's paradise? There's a restaurant, too, but let's not miss the selling point of both Barcadia locations: you get to drink while playing in an arcade games, and you will not look like a creepster among adolescents. It's also a great place to pick up a potential date. Just offer him or her a token at the skeeball machine and people, and maybe you can take it to the next level with Mrs. Pacman or giant Jenga.
1917 N. Henderson Rd., Dallas. 214-821-7300. barcadiabars.com/barcadiadallas/.
816 Matisse Dr., Fort Worth. 817-348-8606. barcadiabars.com/barcadiafortworth/.
Jackie Hoermann, Special Contributor