Don't miss these 2 ridiculous new foods at Texas Rangers games

Editor's note: This story has been updated after Sarah Blaskovich and Evan Grant tasted each of the new foods. They are now napping.

"Take Me Out to the Ballgame" needs a redo. Fine, buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack at a Texas Rangers game at Globe Life Park in Arlington. But really, spring for the new chicken sandwich that measures 10 to 12 inches in diameter and costs $27.50. Or try that gut-busting bacon-brisket-bologna sandwich for $18.

Ever since 2012, fans who root, root, root for the home team in Arlington have been able to order the shocking 2-foot-long Boomstick, a loaded hot dog that can feed an entire family.

Rest assured: The famous Boomstick is still available at the ballpark today. But starting on Opening Day, March 29, Texas Rangers fans will find a host of new concessions items designed to intrigue anyone who wants more than peanuts and Cracker Jack.

"We don't want to keep going back to the same thing," says Casey Rapp, the general manager of Delaware North Metroplex Sportservice, the concessions company at Globe Life Park. "We've done [big] Philly cheesesteaks, pretzels, Kaboom Kabobs, the Choomongous. You name it, we've tried it."

But keep reading, because we're about to name more deep-fried, oversized and bacon-wrapped goodies the Texas Rangers' concession group hasn't yet tried. One of them, the Dilly Dog, sold so well that they're adding a second stand at the ballpark.

Rangers writer Evan Grant and food writer Sarah Blaskovich agreed that two of the new dishes are worth your money and calories. Those foods are listed first and second, below.

Lay's Home Plate Chicken Sandwich - $27.50

The Lay's Home Plate Chicken Sandwich is literally the size of a plate: 10 to 12 inches in diameter. Cooks take each side of the chicken breast, batter them with Lay's potato chips and fry them. The chicken is served on a bun with lettuce, tomato, spicy mayo and Lay's potato chips for crunch.

Evan Grant's opinion: This is the best new item on the Texas Rangers' menu. There is nothing fancy about this pile of poultry. But we've raised an entire generation of kids on rock-hard chicken nuggets. And the miracle of the Home Plate Chicken Sandwich is not one, but two giant, juicy chicken breasts and one fluffy, drone-sized bun. The potato chips add some extra crunch, but the chicken is the star. It's a good bird, man.

7th Inning Cinnamon Roll - $10

For anyone with a sweet tooth, the Rangers ballpark will sell a deep-fried cinnamon roll. It's as big as a bear claw and can come topped with raspberry or chocolate sauce.

Evan Grant's opinion: The Turducken of ballpark sweet treats is a cinnamon roll tucked inside a funnel cake. Here's what happens: The puffed funnel cake batter has a quick crispness that dissipates into a light airiness and that yields to a gooey cinnamon roll. Everything here could end up dry as the desert. That it does not makes it a riddle wrapped inside an enigma. Do not wait for the 7th inning for this. Get it earlier.

Dilly Dog - $10

Rapp expects the Dilly Dog to be the highest-selling new concessions item this season. It starts with a cored-out Best Maid dill pickle (which comes from the Best Maid company in Mansfield, just 25 minutes away from the ballpark). Inside the hollow pickle goes a hot dog from Fort Worth's Texas Chili Company. The pickle-dog is then coated with corndog batter and fried.

Rapp likes the Dilly Dog because it involves two local companies and has State Fair flair.

The Triple B - $18

That's bacon, brisket and bologna. Barbecue, basically.

The Triple B is "gigantic," Rapp says, and served on the same oversized bun that the Beltre Buster comes on. It'll come doused in Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce.

It sounds like a #humblebrag for Instagram. And requires sharing: "I could not eat the whole thing," Rapp says.

Cheetos Jalapeno Bacon Dog - $11

It starts with a bacon-wrapped hot dog. Don't act like that's crazy, y'all, this is Texas.

Cooks will then mix nacho cheese sauce with the dust from a bag of Cheetos -- which is called Cheedle, fun fact. The bacon-wrapped dog is topped with cheesy Cheedle, jalapenos and a few full-size Cheetos for show.

Blue Bell Ice Cream scooped into Rold Gold pretzel waffle cones - $9.25

Ice cream is popular at the ballpark, Rapp says. Customers can pick from multiple rotating flavors of Blue Bell, which usually include vanilla, chocolate, cookie dough or mint chocolate chip. Each customer who orders a salty Rold Gold pretzel waffle cone gets two scoops of ice cream.

Nitro cold brew - $7.50

Yep, the ballpark is getting into fancy coffee. The kegs of cold brew, served out of a tap like beer, come from Cuvee Coffee in Austin. Customers will get their cup of cold brew on ice, served with the option of two vegan syrups, French vanilla or hazelnut, or almond milk. The coffee will be served at the vegan cart. Speaking of ...

Did you know the Texas Rangers ballpark has a vegan cart?

Since 2016, concessions group Delaware North has ramped up its offerings for vegans at Texas Rangers games, and PETA even named it the most vegan-friendly ballpark in the country in 2017. (Vegans can thank one particularly persistent woman for her meat-free suggestions.) Find the vegan cart in section 16, on the third base side.

While some of the popular vegan items will return this year, here are two new ones:

• Vegan Nacho Grande - $13. Last year's nachos will be replaced by traditional nachos, gone vegan: Tostitos chips topped with house-made vegan chili, vegan cheese sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, olives and Beyond Meat crumbles.
• Top N Go - $8.75. It's a vegan Frito pie: a bag of Fritos, opened up and topped with house-made vegan chili and vegan cheese sauce.

Other new concessions items at Rangers ballpark

• Home Run ham fries - $7.50. They look like fries, but in fact they're pieces of breakfast ham, cut into sticks and battered and fried.
• Pickle fries - $7.50. Whereas the ballpark used to sell fried pickle chips, they're switching to fried pickle spears.

• Spicy garlic Buffalo fries - $10.50. The ballpark's popular garlic fries come topped with Buffalo sauce.

• Cracker Jack Cheetos popcorn - $9. This is a slurry of Cracker Jack, Cheetos and popcorn, which offers tastes of caramel, butter and cheese.
• Garlic tots - $14.25. Picture garlic fries, but tater tots instead.

Tell us on Twitter: Which of these would you eat? Chat with us at @sblaskovich and @evan_p_grant.

Or, watch us taste each one on Facebook Live