So you're not the kind of party planner who sets out a bowl of Lay's potato chips and calls it good. No, last year you spent more than $100 on a prime rib for you and your football friends, though nobody really ate it because they were too busy shouting at the TV.
(Just me? Didn't think so.)
If you like eye-catching Dallas food but don't have time to spend all day cooking, check out these over-the-top Dallas dishes that you can pay someone else to make.
The Dak Burger
Oh yes, Cowboys fans: You can celebrate your team even if it isn't playing in the Super Bowl. All Snuffer's Restaurant and Bars in Dallas-Fort Worth are selling the Dak Burger, a bacon cheeseburger with barbecue sauce on it, for $8.49.
You can preserve the Cowboys' legacy by honoring Dak Prescott and ordering his burger to go. Or, if you're the make-it-at-home type, one of Snuffers' chefs modeled how to assemble this delectable burger yourself:
A whole pig's head
What does a roasted pig's head look like? Look away if you're queasy: It looks like a pig's head -- smile and all -- that's got a serious sunburn. The pig's head carnitas at CBD Provisions in downtown Dallas are its most iconic dish. For Super Bowl, pork fans can pay $89 for a pre-roasted Berkshire pig's head to go, with limited quantities available. It comes with the fixins, too: salsa, corn tortillas, radish salad, lime, tortilla chips and guacamole. Your gusts can pull their own pork and assemble their own tacos. Restaurant critic Leslie Brenner calls this dish "fabulous." Serves four to six people. 214-261-4500.
An already-smoked brisket
Don't ask a barbecue enthusiast where their favorite brisket joint is unless you're ready to hear all the mouthwatering details. Pecan Lodge is considered one of the best by many, so good that people stand in line. The Deep Ellum shop is selling whole briskets for $135, plus racks of ribs, mac and cheese and even a do-it-yourself slider pack. Your friends will be impressed. Order online by Feb. 3.
Another Dallas barbecue restaurant, Cattleack, is also selling whole, chilled briskets, theirs for an average of $115 each. (They're $18.99 per pound, and most are 6ish pounds each.) One of our special contributors says of Cattleack, "it may be the best barbecue in Dallas -- and that's saying something now that our once barbecue-impoverished town has upped its game so much." It's good and you've been warned.
Don't do what we've done and think you can smoke your own brisket better than the big guys. You'll save yourself a dozen hours and at least a half-dozen beers if you just let someone else do the smoking.
This wacky pizza
You can basically hear this pizza saying "prove it" as you dig into a pie that does wings, queso and pizza all in one. Better snap a pic of the Ultimate Gameday Pizza from Stonedeck Pizza Pub in Deep Ellum just to prove to your friends on Instagram that you did it.
This is a 16-piece pizza with appetizers stacked on top. On the left, there's queso and tortilla chips; in the center, six pinwheels with marinara sauce for dipping; on the right, buffalo wings with bleu cheese dressing. You might hate yourself after you eat this pizza. You might also win the Super Bowl party. $45 at Stonedeck Pizza Pub, 2613 Elm St., Dallas.