Here's Evan Grant in Hog Heaven after eating the Wicked Pig, a giant pork sandwich now available at Globe Life Park during Texas Rangers games.

Here's Evan Grant in Hog Heaven after eating the Wicked Pig, a giant pork sandwich now available at Globe Life Park during Texas Rangers games.

Tommy Noel
If the Wicked Pig looks big, it is. Porky? Oh yes. It's now available at Texas Rangers games at Globe Life Park in Arlington.

If the Wicked Pig looks big, it is. Porky? Oh yes. It's now available at Texas Rangers games at Globe Life Park in Arlington.

David Woo/Staff Photographer

They had me at "prosciutto."

Then they kept going.

For the most part, the mammoth-sized concession items the Texas Rangers annually trot out since the 2-foot, 2-pound Boomstick hot dog have never really intrigued me. What started with purely outrageously-sized items morphed quickly into a menu full of outrageously-sized and eclectically-constructed monstrosities.

Remember the Holland Hot-Tachos, anyone? That mess of tater tots, peppers and beef seemed to last as a "thing" about as long as namesake Derek Holland did last year, which is to say, not long at all.

But then came the Wicked Pig. About 10 days ago, the Rangers and concessionaire Delaware North announced the sandwich would be this year's new signature indulgence at Globe Life Park and upon reading the description, I was hooked. The list of meats alone read like the Bubba Gump of Pork: pulled pork, pork sausage, pork rinds, bacon, thick cut ham and, of, course, that loveliest of the cured porks, prosciutto.

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You take all of that, well over 2 pounds of meat, and stack it on an oversized Hawaiian roll in a triple-decker pile. Hit it with some barbecue sauce, a mound of vinegary coleslaw and serve it with more pork rinds. You charge $27 for it. And then you have the EMTs on alert.

I had to have it.

Full disclosure: I'm also the guy who had to be talked out of having a "prosciutto tree," at my wedding.

I finally did meet the Pigginator snout-to-snout, so to speak. It was glorious.

I will say this: It's hard to pick out the nuances of the different pork products piled on the Hawaiian roll (which curiously had the texture and taste of challah bread, which is a decidedly unusual, though delicious, accompaniment for pork). On the sample we tried, the sausage may have overwhelmed the other meats ever so slightly. And maybe that's because there was a lot of sausage on the top layer that I tried. 

Without having the jaws of a boa constrictor, it's impossible to get the whole thing in your mouth.

Be warned: This is a messy sandwich. If you try to eat it sandwich style, coleslaw is going to squish out the sides and a pork rind my go flying. Barbecue sauce is liable to end up on parts of your skull nowhere near your mouth. If your "friends" have a phone, there is going to be a photo of you on the interwebs looking like George Costanza eating that ice cream sundae at the U.S. Open.

And here's the other thing: You won't care.

Because, like me, you will have gone to hog heaven.

Eating the Wicked Pig is a culinary challenge. Take the challenge.

Eating the Wicked Pig is a culinary challenge. Take the challenge.

David Woo/Staff Photographer
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