You don't want to count calories in the Texas Rangers' postseason. Slug that idea right out of Globe Life Park and you'll be much happier with your concession selections.
Here's why: The four new foods available at Texas Rangers' postseason home games are unhealthy, oversized and outrageous. They're alluring, too.
But you likely won't buy them all. Here are our tasting tips for each new item:
Sweet Spot Cotton Candy Dog -- $10
(pictured at top)
Put this one in the "win" column. The $10 dog is a simple all-beef hot dog topped with cotton candy mustard. Nevermind that the mustard is an unappetizing green; the green goo lends a mellow sweetness that really works. The hot dog comes topped with a few puffs of cotton candy, and you can take or leave it. Your kids will love it, too.
- Available at sections 22 and 48
1-pound Top-n-Go Cheetos -- $26
Skip this bag 'o nachos. To build it, concessionaires open a 1-pound bag of Cheetos and add meat, nacho cheese, jalapeños, sour cream and more. They taste exactly like nachos, though they're harder to eat. Do you dive in with a fork? Go full caveman and use your hands? No telling. But you could find better ways to spend $26 at the ballpark.
- Available at sections 19, 29, 41, 235
Inside-Out Hot Dog -- $26
A meal for many, the Inside-Out Hot Dog will certainly fill you up. The question is whether you desire a plate of meat piled on top of meat -- with a side of meat. The 8-inch by 3-inch hot dog is topped with a gluttonous glob of meat and mac and cheese or mashed potatoes. It's a delicious combination, like dinner in a single bite. Then it comes with a garnish: a hot dog wrapped in bacon. This is a lot of meat, folks.
- Available at sections 22, 29, 48
Elvis Jabberdog Brownie -- $13 or $26
Buy this. Just do it. And get the 24-incher for $26, not the junior size for $13. The Elvis Jabberdog is a brownie rolled in Rice Krispies crust and deep-fried in funnel cake batter. Concessionaires dress it up to look like a corny dog, but make no mistake, this is dessert for the whole family. It seems perfect for the State Fair of Texas, though it's even bigger than most of their oversized treats.
Our hats are off to the Rangers' concessions group. The Elvis Jabberdog is one of the tastiest desserts we've had in years at Globe Life Park.
- Large size available in section 29; junior size at section 41